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  • Spotting others in the lifestyle is so easy.

    Dear Partners ID, First we want to thank you for your patience when working with our group. We know it was not easy to please us all but everyone was very professional and kind throughout the process! We are also very happy with the outcome. This necklace is exactly what we had hoped for! We live in a part of the country where people would have little tolerance for swingers. It is a religious area and we were brought up to understand that sex is strictly between a husband and a wife, period. Without the internet, we would never have had access to other swingers, simply because there are no clubs for hundreds of miles. Our need for the jewelry was not to find new swingers (although if that happens we will be thrilled) but to be able to find each other. There are about 25 couples in our little secret group and we try to get together at least once a month; more when possible. What we discovered is that we often cross paths with other members of the group, when we are out during the day. The problem is we don’t always look the same as we do when we are all dazzled up for a night out! I thought I spotted one of the women while out shopping one day but was not sure and so I did not approach her. That was when we started to think about wearing some kind of jewelry that only we would recognize. My husband and I are planning a trip to Texas this summer to visit some family and are hoping the jewelry will help us to find some playmates while traveling! Great concept and beautiful jewelry! Thanks Partners ID! Meghan and Rex Looking for lifestyle jewelry? PartnersID.com is the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world. Don't see what you like? Ask us and we will make something special for you! Find our jewelry here: https://www.partnersid.com/etsy-shop

  • Rejection in the lifestyle; how to say thanks but no thanks?

    Rejection is never pretty. Regardless of how we dress it up, rejection is still ugly. It is hurtful and often feels personal. For everyone in the lifestyle, this is something we must face at some point, either as the rejector or the rejectee. Let’s face it, this is normal. Everyone will not like everyone else, but figuring out how to let them know is never easy. Swinging is a lot like dating. At times we have an attraction to someone and that attraction is not returned. We want someone to like us but they do not. When we are talking about dating, it is fairly straightforward. One person must like one person. In swinging, this is much more complicated. Every couple in the lifestyle will agree that couples finding couples is much more difficult. Swingers often take to dating sites like SDC, Kasidie, Quiver, FriendFinder, etc. to find other swingers. They scan their pictures and read profiles in the hopes of finding like minded and attractive couples to meet. The process on swinger dating sites generally involves one couple picking out another and sending them an email expressing interest. The receiver of the email will open the profile of the sender and begin with their photos. If there is any spark of interest, they will read the profile. If the receiver of the email likes what they see, chances are they will respond to your email. What happens if the couple opens the email and has no interest? Many times they will simply delete the email and forget about it. Obviously you will realize they are not interested right? This way of handling an email of no interest is called “ghosting”. Some couples feel this is the easiest way to convey there is no interest. Other couples feel you owe some type of response to the people who sent the email. How do you reject someone without hurting their feelings? Is it possible to turn someone down without hurting their feelings? It seems that whatever you say will cause some pain. Often times couples say they simply reply: “We are not a match.” Surely the couple reading that email will take it personally, especially if their profiles seemed to align. This truly is the kindest possible response. No need to explain why, just a simple reply to let them know. Sometimes couples feel compelled to be honest Honesty is the best policy, right? Here I have to disagree. There is no need to explain that one of you is not attracted to the sender. No need to comment on their age, weight or other physical characteristic. There is never a reason to be cruel or hurtful. If you specified in your profile that you are looking for something specific that does not match the sender, then it is ok to point that out. Even in this case, there are ways to say things without being mean. What if you are not interested in a couple you meet in person? Rejecting couples in an email is not that hard. What happens when you are face to face with a couple and you have no interest? If this is a couple that approaches you in a club, it is easy to walk away. You make an excuse about going to the restroom or to dance. When you do not return, that should be easy for them to understand. If they seek you out upon your return, letting them know that you would like to walk around and talk to other couples will hopefully be enough. If a couple is trying to join you while in a play area, usually simply not responding to their advances is enough to let them know. For the bolder couple who does not seem to pick up on non verbal cues, saying no thank you should send them on their way. The most complicated is when you have agreed to meet in person after exchanging text messages or emails. It is probably a good idea to make your first meeting for a quick cup of coffee. If there is interest, you can always move to sharing a meal. If your date with another couple is over a meal, this can be more complicated. You and your partner should think about this beforehand and come up with a plan. A simple gesture that you agree upon will let each other know how you are feeling. If one of you wants out, the gesture will let your partner know. The plan should include a way to graciously end the date as soon as possible. This can be followed up with an email explaining that although you thought they were very nice, the chemistry was not there. What about the couples who simply won’t take no for an answer? Rejection is always hard because you know you are hurting someone. If the other couple is gracious, this makes it easy. When the other couple simply won’t take no for an answer, it can lead to a much uglier situation. We have found ourselves in situations where a simple no thank you has turned sour. In a case like this it is important to remember that it is not your problem, but theirs. While we chose to take the high road and be kind, there are couples who somehow feel entitled to your time and attention. Whether this occurs online or in person it can be frustrating. Blocking the couple online is a no brainer. In person, it becomes a bit more difficult. Avoiding them seems to be the only way around a future problem. If they hang out in the same club as you, chances are you are not alone in your dealings with them. Eventually these couples are isolated because of their behavior. Bottom line? At some point in time you will have to reject couples and couples will reject you. Do not take it personally, simply move on. Looking to find others in the lifestyle? Look for our lifestyle jewelry! Find it here: www.PartnersID.com

  • A Sexy Encounter In Starbucks.

    I travel often for business, and my wife and I have an open marriage. What happens on the road, stays on the road, and what my wife does while I’m on the road is all good. (I just want to hear all about it.) Recently my work took me to Boston and while I have been there before, I never really thought of is as a place that would be riddled with swingers. Boston is a college town with so many young people that I never thought much about swinging when I visited in the past. What set this trip apart was that my wife surprised me for our anniversary and bought me a beautiful gold and silver necklace from you, which of course has the pendant for swingers. I wear it everyday but never really expected to meet random swingers. Well, I was wrong on two accounts. First, Boston is a whole lot more than a college town, and second, you will meet random swingers when you wear Partners ID jewelry. After spending the morning in a meeting, I needed to get some fresh air. I walked out to find a Starbucks so I could sit and answer some emails. I ordered coffee, sat down at a table, and got to work. Soon after sitting down, a couple walked over and asked if they could sit at the table with me. I glanced up at them and told them no problem. We were sitting in a corner where we had relative privacy. Starbucks was busy, so seating was limited. I looked back down and started to type when I overheard the conversation between the couple. They were discussing travel plans for an upcoming vacation and how they were excited to finally meet a couple they were talking to on SDC. As soon as I heard SDC, I looked up and they were both looking at me. I didn’t say anything but the woman asked me if I was on SDC. I was taken back but then she pointed to my necklace. Honestly I couldn’t believe it! I told her I am on SDC. She opened her bag, took out a card and handed it to me. She said she hoped to hear from me soon. With that, the two of the them got up from the table and left. I was so shocked I could hardly believe what had just happened. How lucky to be in the right place at the right time! Needless to say, i immediately signed on to SDC to check them out. They looked to be a very hot couple who are totally open so I sent them an email telling them I was only in town until the next day but would love to meet up with them. I got a response from them within a half an hour inviting me to their home that evening. I won’t go into too much detail but I will say it was a wonderful experience that I would never have had if it were not for wearing your necklace. As you can see I have placed an order for a few more pieces. Although my new friends knew what the jewelry meant, they did not own the jewelry. As a thank-you I have purchased these pieces for them. I am very excited for what I might experience in the future. We have been swinging for more than 20 years and nothing like this has ever happened to me before. This is a great help for swingers who like to meet others in unlikely places. Chris K. Looking for the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world? Find it here: www.Etsy.com/shop/swingersjewelry

  • Lifestyle resorts are perfect for your first swinging experience!

    Swinger resorts are like summer camp for swingers. From the time you step foot off the plane until you step back onto the plane, you are in for non stop fun. Vacations are meant to be fun filled and relaxing at the same time, and these resorts offer the best of both worlds. Most swingers who have been to one of the resorts return home with stories of fun and excitement. What about couples who are not actually swingers, but rather are curious about the lifestyle? Is a lifestyle resort a place they might enjoy? That totally depends on the couple. I use ‘couple’ because some resorts don’t even allow single guests. For many swingers, they appreciate the more relaxed atmosphere that this rule creates. Many couples hear about swinging and they think they are ready to jump right in, while others would like to test the waters a bit before committing to anything with anyone. They are in the “I just want to watch” mode and so they worry that these resorts might not be the right place for them. Lifestyle resorts are actually a wonderful way for both types of newbies to get an up close look at what swinging is really like. For those who just want to observe, there is no pressure to be involved because of the shear number of people around. For those who want to jump in with both feet, there will be plenty of swingers who would be happy to show you the ropes. Some resorts are more upscale in terms of the accommodations and the food. If this is important to you, pay close attention to online reviews. One thing that is especially important is to try to book your trip when there is a swinger group expected at the resort. The resorts are always liveliest when swinger groups are scheduled to be there. The different resorts also seem to attract different age groups. Some attract the younger groups while others tend to host more of the older swingers. This is especially important if age matters to you. A word of caution: younger crowds do not necessarily mean more swinging. Again, try to coordinate your trip with specific swinger groups to make sure the resort is not too quiet. In terms of having your first ever swinging experience at a lifestyle resort, you have to know what you are comfortable with before you arrive. Communicate with your partner regarding what you are hoping for while you are there and what is absolutely off limits. Without a doubt, if you are looking to swing, this will be possible at any lifestyle resort. The important this is to have this conversation before you arrive. Make sure both of you are on the same page. If you want to jump right in a swap with another couple, make sure your partner agrees with this. Seasoned swingers do not like to find themselves in between a couple who is arguing or unhappy. If you discuss things before arriving at the resort, this should make the experience smoother and more enjoyable for everyone. Check the website before you go as most places have theme nights at their clubs. You will be expected to dress in theme if you want to attend the clubs. Some resorts are clothing optional while some enforce nudity. These types of resorts usually attract both nudists and swingers. Do not confuse nudists with swingers as they are not interchangeable. One of the reasons we developed the lifestyle jewelry was to make it easy to know who the swingers are while vacationing at resorts such as these. Make sure the resort you are looking into hosts swingers, as some naturist resorts do not. Will people expect you to play? This is a logical concern for those new to the lifestyle and the answer is no. Nobody will expect anything from you, especially if you make it clear at the start. Don’t flirt with other couples and lead them on if you have no intention of following through. Most swingers think if couples are at these resorts it is because they are looking to play with others. Will we be able to watch other couples play if we are not playing? Yes, it is not uncommon to see couples playing on the beach or in the water. If you wander around at night you can see people all around playing. Some leave their hotel doors open so others can come in and watch. Many times there are games during the day at the pool or foam parties and lots of people will be playing then as well. The best part for new couples is that it will give them a chance to meet other swingers and see how nice and inclusive most of them can be. It is also helpful to discover that swingers remain happy together even after playing with others. This is usually of concern to couples who do not swing. The vacation is intended to be fun and swingers know how to have a good time. What resorts have you been to that you would recommend? We have been to Desire Riviera Maya, Desire Pearl, Cap D’agde, Secrets Hideaway, Caliente and Hedonism. We have been to a few others but they were too small to call them resorts. We had a great time at each place and we like them all for different reasons. The best way to choose is to go online and take a look at each place. Their locations vary so sometimes that will make the decision for you. Read the reviews on each and go to forums on different sites to ask other people’s opinions. No matter which place you choose, don’t go with preconceived notions as to what will happen when you are there. No expectations means you cannot be disappointed that something did not go as planned. If you want something to happen, chances are it will Be friendly, open minded and enjoy!

  • Visiting day with a sexy twist

    Dear Partners ID, This note could have been sent a few years back but as they say: better late than never! My husband and I purchased jewelry from you about 4 years ago. We loved the concept and figured we had nothing to lose! I will admit we were a bit afraid to wear it every day in case people spotted us. Obviously, we have changed and now laugh at how silly we were. Anyway, we have 2 children and every summer they attend a sleep away camp in the Berkshire Mountains. Each summer there is a visiting day for parents to come and visit their children for the day. Since we live south of the camp, we generally make it a weekend get away. First we go into Manhattan and enjoy the city for a night, then continue the next day up to Connecticut, where we spend the second night. Since we had been in New York City, we did wear our jewelry when we went out. The next day, we both wore the jewelry again when we headed up to visit our daughters. The day was spent watching our daughters enjoy the different activities and we had a big picnic for all of the families out on the lawn. I was standing in line to get some food when the woman in front of me put her hand out to reach for some utensils. I immediately noticed her black ring. As she then put her arm around her young daughter I could see the symbol! Bingo! I tapped her on the shoulder and introduced myself. She was very friendly and asked if our children were bunkmates. I tugged on the charm hanging from my necklace and she burst out laughing. We introduced ourselves and she asked if we would like o join them for lunch. The four of us clicked and our girls did know each other. After lunch we exchanged cell phone numbers and they asked where we were headed after the day was over. We invited them to meet us for a drink back at the hotel where we were staying. Long story short, we played well into the night and keep in touch during the year. They live far away from us but we now meet each summer for visiting day (except , of course, during COVID because the camp was closed). I cannot tell you what a wonderful friendship has been formed because of your jewelry. It made me realize how many missed opportunities exist simply because we would never know who else was in the lifestyle without some identification. We proudly wear the jewelry of all the time now and have met 3 other couples over the years. Thank you for your hard work! We are huge fans! Kisses! Kylie and Teddy

  • Partners ID jewelry really works!

    Dear Partners ID, I will admit, I was a bit skeptical about purchasing swinger jewelry. We were unsure if anyone would actually know what it was, but thought, what the heck, it’s cute, we have nothing to lose! After purchasing a necklace for myself and a ring for my husband we started to wear them when we went out at night. One night we were meeting friends for dinner at a local restaurant. When we arrived they were waiting at the bar, talking to a man we did not know. They introduced us and within a few minutes, the maitre d came to tell us our table was ready. The other couple asked if we would mind if he joined us and we said that would be fine. He was a coworker of our friend and they had known each other for a very long time. During dinner I couldn’t help but notice that every time he grabbed his glass to sip his wine, he would clink his ring on the glass. I glanced down to see what was making so much noise and I realized he was wearing the same ring as my husband! OMG I couldn’t believe it! He caught me looking and simply smiled at me. Well, let me tell you, it was the beginning of a very fun evening! After dinner, we all said our good nights and walked toward our cars. As we approached our car the man with the ring pulled up behind our car and rolled down his window. He invited us for a night cap at his home. My husband and I looked at each other and said sure! I don’t think we wore the jewelry more than a handful of times and this was the result! Trust me, the jewelry works! Thank you so much for your efforts on behalf of the lifestyle community! P and J Tenafly, NJ

  • How to meet a hot swinger without really trying.

    Hey Partners ID, Here is my quick story about how I met the coolest guy because I was wearing your necklace. I am a runner, have been running my whole life. I’m kind of a female Forrest Gump. Anyway, I have been in the lifestyle for the past 10 or so years. It started when I graduated from college and my boyfriend and I were looking for something more. Sex between us was fine but I think we were both a little bit bored. Fast forward 5 years and we are no longer together, but I am still in the lifestyle. Dating can be a challenge at times as vanilla men are weary of “sharing their girlfriends”. Looking to meet other swingers in my every day life, I bought a necklace from your shop. I put it on and wear it all the time. Last weekend I was out for a run, listening to my music when this man tapped me as I ran past him. I turned to look and he pointed to my necklace. That made me turn around and approach him. He was super hot so I was eager to meet him. Well, turns out he is in the lifestyle and also has your jewelry! To make a long story short, I have a new boyfriend and I have you to thank! If anyone is wondering if other swingers will know, the answer is, yes! I am living, breathing, proof of this! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! A fan for life! ~ Nicole

  • Stupid questions people ask when they find out we are swingers.

    Ok, I will admit that I used to have more tolerance for the stupid questions and assumptions that vanilla people make about swingers. I understood that this was a concept that took time to grasp. What has changed? Why have I lost patience with this? Perhaps is because the internet provides a safe place for people to gain knowledge about things they do not understand. It isn’t hard to google a question and see what others have to say. Reading forums, blogs and listening to podcasts is enough to help anyone to gain insight into things they are unfamiliar with, right? Then why do vanilla people still make assumptions about a lifestyle they do not comprehend? Clearly, they have not taken the time to do their homework. It is rare that I hear someone in the lifestyle talk negatively about friends or family members who are monogamous. We simply shrug our shoulders and declare that to be their choice. Although vanilla people might believe otherwise, most swingers do not have a tremendous interest in converting others; educating yes, converting, no. Like most people in the lifestyle, we have to share our time with people from both worlds. We are often with lifestyle friends and partying in clubs but we also have to take time to be with family and friends who are not in the lifestyle. Some family members and some friends know that we are swingers. This is where the questions come from… If you really love each other, why do you need to have sex with other people? Doesn’t it make you jealous to see your husband/wife being intimate with another person? Obviously, what you are doing is not normal, which is why everyone else is not doing it. Have you thought about that? What happens when one of you falls in love with someone you are swinging with? How would you feel if others found that you two are swingers? These seem to be the core, recurring questions. After spending over 15 years in the lifestyle, we have discovered an easy way to answer these questions. First of all, how many couples who are in a long term relationship are 100% faithful? Although we would like to believe that most married or committed couples are faithful, the truth is, the vast majority are not. This makes answering the above questions take on a new twist. Often times, we have noticed that people are quick to pass judgement without understanding the facts. We insist that if people truly want to hear what we have to say, people must be open to listening to our responses. Let us begin with question number 1: If you really love each other, why do you need to have sex with other people? As most swingers have figured out, love and sex are not mutually exclusive. Sharing your life with someone is simply not something one can compare to a night of random sex. Sex is a physical act while love comes from the heart. You do not need to love someone to have sex with them. Honestly, you do not have to like, or even know someone, to have sex with them. More importantly, we do not ‘need’ to have sex with others, we choose to do this. The majority of swingers will tell you that sex with their partner is great. What they are looking for is variety and excitement. Both of these add to their shared sex life. What’s important to point out here? We do it together, not behind each other’s back. Doesn’t it make you jealous to see your husband/wife being intimate with another person? The answer to this question always surprises vanilla people. No, it does not make us jealous. There is a word swingers seem to understand that vanilla people cannot: compersion. (urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Compersion). ( Ironically, this word is not found in a standard dictionary.) It means: A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship. It is exciting to see your partner with someone else. We have been programmed to think otherwise but the reality is quite stimulating! Obviously, what you are doing is not normal, which is why everyone else is not doing it. Have you thought about that? This one sounds like something your parents would say upon learning you are swingers. Our response: define normal. We never try to tell people that what we do is right for everyone, but we do believe people should decide what works for them. Nobody needs outside interference in their personal lives. We both understand that if you have never been in the lifestyle, it is a foreign concept. Most people have a hard time wrapping their minds around the idea. However, if they were honest, many would like to give it a try. Not because they don’t love their significant other, but the thought of having sex with someone else is erotic and exciting. Especially if their spouse is on board with it. What happens when one of you falls in love with someone you are swinging with? Unfortunately, this is something that can happen whether someone is in the lifestyle or not. We can never predict when two people will meet and fall in love. It can happen anywhere between any two people. Does it happen more often between swingers? No, it definitely does not. Swingers generally enter the lifestyle looking to enjoy sex with other people. Not because they don’t love their partner or because they are looking for someone with whom to share their life. Does the added intimacy of having sex with someone heighten the risk or the chances of this occurring? Not when it is done properly. For us, after a night with another couple, we return home with each other and back to our lives. We close the door and leave that world behind. How would you feel if others found out that you two are swingers? Neither of us would really care. Honestly, we keep it quiet for our families. We do not want to cause problems for our children or our parents. We feel that what we do in our private lives is personal. Some of our friends know and others do not. We are not ashamed to be swingers. As a matter of fact, it is quite the opposite! Most people we know who are in the lifestyle, have been swinging for years. They have also encountered curiosity seekers and been asked many questions regarding the lifestyle. It is only natural for people to want to understand how we can remain happily married while seeking out sex with others. What is important to us, is to make sure the person asking realizes that it is something we do as a couple. Swinging requires honesty, openness and communication. When a couple incorporates those three things into their relationship, the lifestyle will not cause problems. It seems there will always be people who are skeptical about the lifestyle. The best we can do is to be prepared for the questions and comments. Listen to their views and then ask them to listen to yours. It certainly won’t change most people’s minds, but it might give them some food for thought. Looking for lifestyle jewelry? Our symbol is the official symbol for swingers, and is recognized around the world. Stop wondering, start playing... Find it here: https://www.partnersid.com/etsy-shop

  • Sex/Life and the lifestyle. A perfect example of how swinging can help couples.

    Sunny Florida was anything but sunny this past Sunday, and so my hubby and I settled in for some Netflix. Cruising through the “things you might like” section we stumbled across a series called Sex/Life. Sounded like something we would enjoy, so we clicked to watch. What is so interesting about this show, is how it portrays the importance of sex and intimacy in any solid relationship. The summation of the show is that this beautiful woman, who appears to have it all, is actually miserable in her marriage. She loves her husband and is very attracted to him, but he has become caught up in his role as father and provider and has lost interest in her as a woman. The show hones in on the sexual appetite and desires of this married woman. After 8 years of marriage, she begins to fantasize about an old lover with whom she had intense sex. Like this is missing from her life, it becomes a constant thought for her. She decides to write about her past relationship with her former erotic boyfriend and her husband finds and reads it. Rather than lashing out, he tries to recreate this erotic and reckless sexual behavior to satisfy her. What it made me realize, was how he needed to remember that other men found his wife sexually desirable for him to look at her this way as well. Watching this show made me think about why swinging is so helpful for some relationships. It doesn’t matter how attractive or sexy anyone is, after a while, people want something different. It is not because couples stop loving each other, but rather because people get bored. Swinging allows couples to get back to a place where they can be sexual again. There is something about the lifestyle that brings couples closer. Men watch their wives ( and vice versa) flirting and teasing other men and it puts them in a new light. All of the sudden you see your significant other the way you remember them when you met. It creates a new spark and you find yourself enjoying watching them play with others, knowing that you will get to do so afterwards. The lifestyle brings passion back into relationships that originated with this. It brings couples to remember that work and family and paying bills is only one piece of who you are. The other piece is this naughty couple who are looking for fun together. Sneaking around, laughing at almost being caught by vanilla friends and family who would never understand. The bond it creates strengthens what you already have together. Even when couples opt to enjoy the lifestyle without swinging. They benefit from the atmosphere which is warm and sexual. I imagine if the couple in this show were to try swinging. It seems that they could have it all. Rather than one of them looking outside of their marriage to fulfill their needs, they would be looking together. The lifestyle is not for everyone but I personally believe many couples would benefit from it. Looking to find other couples? Try wearing our lifestyle jewelry. Partners ID is the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world. Find it here: www.PartnersID.com

  • Why your body language and non-verbal cues matter.

    Being in the lifestyle for many years, I am always surprised by how much I continue to learn. Today I would like to explore the importance of body language and nonverbal cues. What are nonverbal cues? They are the signs you send to others without speaking. The way you listen, communicate, make eye contact (or not), and your facial expressions all convey a message to others. Body language also conveys a lot about how a person is feeling. When you meet someone and they lean in to kiss your cheek, firmly shake your hand or embrace you in a hug, they are conveying interest. Smiling, a light touch of your hand on the persons arm, showing interest in what they have to say are all positive signs. Here is an example of the importance of using non-verbal cues to convey interest in the lifestyle. This weekend my husband and I went to a swing club. We were having drinks when a couple we have met a few times stopped to greet us. The woman warmly kissed my husband and let her hand linger on his arm. She was smiling and looking into his eyes when he spoke. The man, on the other hand, quickly kissed my cheek and backed up. They stayed for a brief time making small talk during which time the man never made eye contact with me. Later on in the evening, we were approached by this couple on the dance floor. She backed up against my husband and my husband responded by putting his hands on her hips and dancing with her. She soon turned and began to dance with him. I turned toward her husband who half heartedly danced with me, again, never making eye contact. When we reached the playroom later in the night, this couple was waiting for us. Obviously I knew the woman was interested in my husband but I dreaded what the situation would be like for me. My husband suggested we make excuses and walk away but I decided to stay with them. We sat together on a couch and my husband sat in front of me and the woman on the floor, gently rubbing her legs. I looked over to her husband and he was making no attempt to interact with me. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I got up and went over to him. I sat down and touched his leg. This was all it took for him to come to life. He completely changed and we played together with no problems. Afterwards, he told me he was hoping we would come into the playroom so he could play with me. Do you see the problem here? Obviously, I was totally shocked because his actions all evening truly made me think he had zero interest and he was simply following his wife. If only he had given me some indication earlier in the night! He honestly had no idea that I felt that we was disinterested. When I told him we almost avoided playing with them because of the way I felt, he was shocked. What’s the take away? We spend a lot of time primping and dressing to make a good impression on others when we attend lifestyle events. Although good grooming and dressing well is always important, it is not everything. You can be the best looking person at any given event, but if you are not warm and friendly, all bets are off. Nobody likes working hard to win someone over. We generally size people up in the first few minutes of meeting them. When someone is friendly and shows interest, it makes us feel good and we tend to like them more. Try it… Looking to find other swingers? Try wearing our internationally recognized jewelry. Find it here: www.PartnersID.com Partners ID is the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world.

  • Just when I thought a night at Trapeze couldn’t be more fun than it already is, this happens…

    I often tell people that every night at Trapeze is like New Year’s Eve. The crowd is alive, they are fun, they are sexy and they are happy. There’s music, dancing, eating, drinking, sex and breakfast. If that isn’t fun, I am not sure what is! Trapeze is known for their theme nights and have incorporated a steel drummer into the mix for International Night on Wednesdays. Not only is the drummer great at playing the drums, but he is hot and engaging. The vibe is electric with many people taking to the dance floor to join in the fun. This particular hump night was more memorable than most. As the night was getting started and the crowd was heating up, two beautiful twin like dancers made their way to the dance floor. As they mingled with the guests on the dance floor a stilted robotic dancer with flashing neon lights appeared on the scene. As he made his way through the crowd to the dance floor, all eyes were on him. Before long, the dance floor was packed as the crowd danced with the dancers and then began a train which ended with a limbo under the stilted dancers legs. All the while the music and drums kept the beat and the dance floor was sprayed with blasts of cold air and confetti. The atmosphere was electric and euphoric. The crowd was connected and people were dancing throughout the entire club. This lasted for over an hour or two (hard to remember, it was so much fun). This is one of the reasons Trapeze remains among the best swing clubs in the world. Every night is special, every night is different but every night is fun!

  • Swinging can be difficult, especially for those with body issues.

    I would be willing to bet that almost every person in the world who looks in the mirror sees at least one flaw with their body. For some people, it might be nothing more than a small blemish, while for others, it can be a major disfigurement. This can be a serious impediment in enjoying the lifestyle. Every person in the lifestyle would like to have a healthy self image but for some, it can be a real struggle. For these individuals, the issue is about more than an extra five pounds or a breakout the day of an event. The types of individuals I am talking about have more serious conditions which makes removing their clothing a whole different ballgame. Body disfigurement is when a person’s appearance has been deeply and persistently harmed, such as from a disease, birth defect, or wound. People with these types of conditions can suffer greatly with self image, making the lifestyle a genuine struggle for them. Imagine how difficult everyday life is when dealing with these types of issues. Now think about how much more difficult a social situation might be. Consider how hard it is for them to have to undress in public and how much harder it is for them to feel confident enough to try to swing. Whether the person is an amputee, has a visible skin condition, or large scars from surgeries, disrobing can be difficult. While we would like to think adults would be kind enough to treat them the same as we would anybody else, this is not always the case. The last thing anyone with this type of issue wants is for others to stare. Perhaps the best way to try to mask some of these issues is to wear items of clothing or lingerie into the playroom. Discreetly covering scars or some deformities can be more easily achieved than others. Amputees can make use of towels or robes to cover the affected limb. This can help ease their discomfort in front of others. While this might solve their discomfort somewhat, there is the still the issue of playing with others. Having worked with people with disabilities and physical deformities in the past, I know how difficult these situations can be for them under normal circumstances. The lifestyle is an extreme example of an obstacle for them to overcome. Even if they are totally comfortable with their bodies, others might not be. So how best to handle this? Some people might prefer to say something up front so there are no surprises and they can gauge the comfort level of a potential play partner. Others might prefer to attempt to conceal whatever they might have. It is an individual decision that each person must decide upon. Regardless of how they approach this, there is no doubt that they are hoping for an understanding and compassionate playmate. If you find yourself in a position where you are either playing or about to play with someone who has a genuine body issue, try to see things from their perspective. Reacting to a person with any type of disfigurement with shock or disgust is both cruel and immature. Always be respectful of everyone and remember that people have to go through things that perhaps you have been lucky enough to avoid. Between burns, cancers and accidents, many people will have some type of visible scars or deformities. To ease the anticipation of how others might respond to you if you have a disability or condition of any kind, it might help to meet people online first. This gives you the opportunity to weed out those who can’t handle things like this. It can always be a footnote in your profile, or simply mention it to those you communicate with that you are interested in meeting in person. This way if someone agrees to meet you, you know they have no issue with it. Most people who decide to be in the lifestyle with body issues such as these are pretty confidant people. They are willing to put themselves out there knowing that others might reject them. Can you do me a favor? If you encounter someone with any kind of body issue, give them a break. Kindness goes a long way to helping others feel good about themselves.

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