Rejection is never pretty. Regardless of how we dress it up, rejection is still ugly. It is hurtful and often feels personal. For everyone in the lifestyle, this is something we must face at some point, either as the rejector or the rejectee. Let’s face it, this is normal. Everyone will not like everyone else, and we will not be attracted to everyone. The tricky part is letting people know we are not interested in a kind way. Swinging is a lot like dating. Swinging is a lot like dating except there are more people involved. Dating is fairly straightforward: one person must like one person. If this happens, the two will move forward. Swinging is much more complex. With each additional person thrown into the mix, finding a match becomes much more difficult. Every couple in the lifestyle will agree that couples finding couples can be complicated. Swingers often take to dating sites like SDC, Kasidie, Quiver, FriendFinder, SLS, etc., to find other swingers. They scan photos and read profiles in the hopes of finding attractive and like minded couples to meet. The process on swinger dating sites generally involves one couple picking out another and sending them an email expressing interest. The receiver of the email will open the profile of the sender and begin with their photos. If there is any spark of interest, they will read the profile. If the receiver of the email likes what they see, chances are they will respond to your email. What happens if the couple opens the email and has no interest? Many times they will simply delete the email and forget about it. Obviously you will realize they are not interested right? Many couples feel this is the easiest way to convey there is no interest. Some couples feel you owe some type of response to the people who sent the email. It would seem logical that no response means no interest. If you reply to the person, you must reject them in the email. How is that kinder? How do you reject someone without hurting their feelings? Is it possible to turn someone down without hurting their feelings? It seems that whatever you say will cause some pain. Often times couples say they simply reply: “We are not a match.” Surely the couple reading that email will take it personally, especially if their profiles seemed to align. This truly is the kindest possible response. No need to explain why, just a simple reply to let them know. Sometimes couples feel compelled to be honest Honesty is the best policy, right? Here I have to disagree. There is no need to explain that one of you is not attracted to the sender. No need to comment on their age, weight or other physical characteristic. There is never a reason to be cruel or hurtful. If you specified in your profile that you are looking for something specific that does not match the sender, then it is ok to point that out. Even in this case, there are ways to say things without being mean. What if you are not interested in a couple you meet in person? Rejecting couples in an email is not that hard. What happens when you are face to face with a couple and you have no interest? If this is a couple that approaches you in a club, it is easy to walk away. You make an excuse about going to the restroom or wanting to dance. When you do not return, that should be easy for them to understand. If they seek you out upon your return, letting them know that you would like to walk around and talk to other couples should hopefully be enough. If a couple is trying to join you while in a play area, usually simply not responding to their advances is enough to let them know. For the bolder couple who does not seem to pick up on non verbal cues, saying no thank you should send them on their way. The most complicated situation comes when you have agreed to meet in person after exchanging text messages or emails. It is probably a good idea to make your first meeting for a quick cup of coffee. If there is interest, you can always move to sharing a meal. If your date with another couple is over a meal, this can be more complicated. You and your partner should think about this beforehand and come up with a plan. A simple gesture that you agree upon will let each other know how you are feeling. If one of you wants out, the gesture will let your partner know. The plan should include a way to graciously end the date as soon as possible. This can be followed up with an email explaining that although you thought they were very nice, the chemistry was not there. What about the couples who simply won’t take no for an answer? Rejection is always hard because you know you are hurting someone. If the other couple is gracious, this makes it easy. When the other couple simply won’t take no for an answer, it can lead to a much uglier situation. We have found ourselves in situations where a simple no thank you has turned sour. In a case like this it is important to remember that it is not your problem, but theirs. While we chose to take the high road and be kind, there are couples who somehow feel entitled to your time and attention. Whether this occurs online or in person it can be frustrating. Blocking the couple online is a no brainer. In person, it becomes a bit more difficult. Avoiding them seems to be the only way around a future problem. If they hang out in the same club as you, chances are you are not alone in your dealings with them. Eventually these couples are isolated because of their behavior. Bottom line? At some point in time you will have to reject couples and couples will reject you. Do not take it personally, simply move on. Looking to find other swingers? Try wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry! Find it the jewelry here: https://swingersjewelry.etsy.com

Dear Partners ID, I often read forums and other blogs and articles about swinging. One of the many recurring questions seems to be about neighbors. Why are so many people wondering if their neighbors might be swingers? Even if they are, would it be advisable to approach them or to play with them? My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years. Before your jewelry came along, we also thought guessing who else were swingers was a fun game. We had suspicions about our neighbors and after a night of drinking, we decided to go for it. They were totally open to playing and after a few nights of fun, my wife and I thought that this was the perfect set up! We could invite them to our home and nobody even has to drive home! What we discovered was that neighbors make for bad playmates and that swinging is best done with people who are not a part of your daily life. Don’t misunderstand the concept. My neighbors were super sexy and we had some incredibly fun nights together. The problem was something else. The male neighbor did not know how to act around my wife or me after the first experience. He would make comments when we were in mixed company (even around our children), that were inappropriate and crude. My wife and I did try to discuss it with both him and his wife, but it was useless. Things got so bad, we had to move. Yes, we actually had to sell the family home and move away. This was difficult for our children and even for my job, but we had no choice. Trying to break off the relationship with the neighbors took a nasty turn and their recourse was to tell people that we are swingers. Long story short, we do not recommend ever even attempting to discover if your neighbors are swingers. If they are, good for them; if they are not, all the better. A note from Partners ID regarding this topic: Entering into a swinging relationship with a neighbor may seem alluring at first, especially if you are already on good terms with them and share a certain level of trust. However, there are several reasons why this might not be a good idea: Privacy Concerns: Swinging is a highly personal and private lifestyle choice. If things don't work out or feelings change, it can lead to awkward and uncomfortable situations, making it challenging to maintain privacy within your neighborhood. Impact on Neighborhood Relations: A swinging relationship with a neighbor could complicate the dynamics within the neighborhood. If word gets out or if someone finds out unintentionally, it may create tension or gossip among other neighbors, which could negatively impact your social life. Emotional Attachments: Swinging relationships often involve emotional connections, even if it's meant to be purely physical. Being intimate with someone you see frequently in a non-sexual context can blur the lines and lead to potential emotional complications. Jealousy and Insecurity: Swinging requires a high level of trust and open communication. Being intimate with a neighbor may trigger jealousy or insecurities in both parties, as it's difficult to separate emotions from physical connections. Boundaries and Consent: It can be challenging to establish and maintain clear boundaries with a neighbor in a swinging relationship. Misunderstandings and miscommunications might occur, potentially leading to conflicts. Impact on Home Life: Swinging involves setting aside dedicated time for such activities, and doing so with a neighbor might interfere with your everyday home life and create uncomfortable situations when you encounter them in non-swinger contexts. Unforeseen Consequences: If the swinging relationship does not work out as expected, there's a possibility that it could lead to resentment, awkwardness, or even the end of the friendship or neighborly relationship altogether. Exposing Private Life: Keeping a swinging lifestyle private becomes even more challenging when involved with a neighbor. The risk of exposure to friends, family, or other neighbors can lead to social consequences and judgments. Difficulty Disengaging: Ending a swinging relationship with a neighbor can be complicated. If you decide to end the arrangement, you'll still be living close to the person, potentially causing ongoing discomfort and emotional challenges. While the idea of swinging with a neighbor may have some initial appeal due to existing trust and familiarity, it is generally not recommended. Swinging requires clear communication, boundaries, and a high level of discretion to ensure that all parties involved have a positive and respectful experience. Mixing such an intimate lifestyle with a neighbor can complicate matters and potentially lead to unintended consequences that could negatively impact your personal life and neighborhood relations. Looking to swing? It's so easy to find other swingers when you know what to look for! Our lifestyle jewelry collection is known around the world. Find it here: www.Etsy.com/shop/swingersjewelry

If you are not a swinger, why are you hanging around a swing club? Many years ago, when the baby boomers made up the majority of swingers, swinging was much less complicated. When people showed up at a swing club, you knew they had done their homework just to find the place! Before the internet, finding other swingers, or a place to swing, was much more difficult. If you didn’t find it in a magazine or hear of it by word of mouth, there was really no other way to know about it. Besides being difficult to find, swing clubs were illegal and visiting one was risky. People never knew which night the club might be raided by police and they would all be arrested. Curiosity seekers were not going to chance checking out a swing club. The only customers swing clubs were seeing, were hard core swingers. It created a cohesive group of swingers who were there for one reason, and that was to swing. Swing clubs today attract people who are not swingers What we see in swing clubs today is nothing like the swing clubs of the past. Today, when you are in a swing club, some people are there to swing and some people are not. It seems that at the more popular swing clubs, as many as 40% of the people in the clubs are not swingers at all. Why go to a swing club if you are not a swinger? Swing clubs have become hip places to go. Years ago, strip clubs fell into favor with couples who were looking to shake things up. It was risqué to tell your friends that you had visit a strip club. With all of the exposure that swing clubs have gotten over the past few years, they have taken over as the new racy spot to be seen. It’s not uncommon to see people whip out a camera and start taking pictures under the club signage outside. Many opt for the photo op inside the club. Years ago, if you even took out your phone, you would be asked to put it away. Club goers were not open to the possibility of being photographed in a swing club. What does a non-swinger do in a swing club? For people who are not familiar with a swing club, many of them are as beautiful as any big city night club. Although they require a membership plus an entrance fee, once you are inside, in most clubs, everything else is on the house. You bring your own liquor so you are not paying through the nose for your drinks. Mixers, sodas and juice are available for free. Most clubs offer dinner; some even have breakfast. There is always a dj, and the dance floors usually have state of the art lighting and special effects. They show music videos and porn on big screens around the clubs. As for the playroom, most couples who are not swingers remain up front for the duration of the night. Just like any other club, they dance, drink and socialize. When they are ready to leave, they head out of the club. For the couples who are curious, they tend to sit and watch others play in the back or walk around to see what it’s all about. Not surprisingly, swingers do not appreciate seeing them in the play area. Even for couples who are exhibitionists, non-swingers are not a welcome sight as they generally just take up room in an already crowded space. How can you tell who the swingers are? The first part of the equation is to filter out the swingers from the others. Even seasoned swingers have trouble distinguishing between the two. Most couples who enjoy swing clubs are very social. They like the atmosphere and easily assimilate socially in the main area of the club. What they don’t realize, is that swingers are there to swing, not to entertain curiosity seekers. Once swingers come to the realization that you are not there to swing, most will simply say hello and then avoid you. Let us not confuse newbies with vanilla people. Newbies are welcome at any club as everyone at one time was in their situation. Besides, they are people who want to swing; vanilla people do not. They are strictly looking to be a part of the scene. They like the environment and the energy of a swing club. More often than not, vanilla people will come to a club as a group. They are not looking to meet other couples as they are not swingers. Those who do come alone (as a couple), might try to socialize, but when another couple realizes they do not swing, the swingers will move on. Swingers are not opposed to couples who come to swing clubs and strictly play with each other. Some couples are exhibitionists and enjoy when others watch them. Swing clubs are an acceptable place for couples like this. Swing clubs, however, are not a place for curiosity seekers to visit or frequent. For vanilla couples who enjoy the sexually charged environment of a swing club, a strip club might be a better alternative. These establishments are more suited for their desire to watch others while not engaging. Why private parties have fallen into favor with swingers. Since swing clubs have become more diluted and the percentage of swingers in any swing club has declined dramatically, private parties have become more popular. Swingers now choose to host events where the only requirement of the attendees is to swing. A private invite party is the only way to ensure that the group will consist of only swingers. Someone at a party we attended recently said, “Wouldn’t it be great if someone opened a club for swingers so we wouldn’t have to keep planning private parties?” Sad, but true, swing clubs that are strictly for swingers, no longer exists. Even a private club that requires a membership is not a sacred swinger place any more. Vanilla couples who read this might think swingers are snobs for the way that they feel but let us look at this in another way. If swing clubs did not exist and swingers were forced to meet at regular clubs, how would the vanilla population respond? “Get a room” would probably be a common phrase thrown at couples who display any public affection. Straight people do not have a lot of tolerance for swingers and are the first to admit they do not approve of this lifestyle. Let’s look at this way How about if people who do not gamble hang out in casinos. They sit at the blackjack table or crowd around a craps table and watch. The people gambling would be forced to maneuver around them to do what they came for, which is to gamble. Have you ever gone into Starbucks to have a cup of coffee with a friend but there are no empty seats. There are many people sitting at tables with their computer but many are not even drinking coffee. I imagine most people are frustrated by this and wonder why they are there if not to drink coffee. So again, if you are not a swinger, why are you hanging around at a swing club? This very same principle applies to swingers. If you are not a swinger, why are you hanging around a swing club? The truth is, swingers are in a swing club to meet other swingers, period. It is not that we are snobs or unfriendly or don’t like to meet others. It is actually the exact opposite. Swingers are going to swing clubs to meet other swingers. If we were looking to spend time with or meet vanilla people, there are endless other places we could go, but the one place we would not be, is in a swing club. For anyone looking to find others in the lifestyle, our jewelry is the perfect answer! Recognized around the world, Partners ID has something for everyone! Check it out here: www.PartnersID.com

Dear Partners ID, First we want to thank you for your patience when working with our group. We know it was not easy to please us all but everyone was very professional and kind throughout the process! We are also very happy with the outcome. This necklace is exactly what we had hoped for! We live in a part of the country where people would have little tolerance for swingers. It is a religious area and we were brought up to understand that sex is strictly between a husband and a wife, period. Without the internet, we would never have had access to other swingers, simply because there are no clubs for hundreds of miles. Our need for the jewelry was not to find new swingers (although if that happens we will be thrilled) but to be able to find each other. There are about 25 couples in our little secret group and we try to get together at least once a month; more when possible. What we discovered is that we often cross paths with other members of the group, when we are out during the day. The problem is we don’t always look the same as we do when we are all dazzled up for a night out! I thought I spotted one of the women while out shopping one day but was not sure and so I did not approach her. That was when we started to think about wearing some kind of jewelry that only we would recognize. My husband and I are planning a trip to Texas this summer to visit some family and are hoping the jewelry will help us to find some playmates while traveling! Great concept and beautiful jewelry! Thanks Partners ID! Meghan and Rex Looking for lifestyle jewelry? PartnersID.com is the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world. Don't see what you like? Ask us and we will make something special for you! Find our jewelry here: https://www.partnersid.com/etsy-shop

Rejection is never pretty. Regardless of how we dress it up, rejection is still ugly. It is hurtful and often feels personal. For everyone in the lifestyle, this is something we must face at some point, either as the rejector or the rejectee. Let’s face it, this is normal. Everyone will not like everyone else, but figuring out how to let them know is never easy. Swinging is a lot like dating. At times we have an attraction to someone and that attraction is not returned. We want someone to like us but they do not. When we are talking about dating, it is fairly straightforward. One person must like one person. In swinging, this is much more complicated. Every couple in the lifestyle will agree that couples finding couples is much more difficult. Swingers often take to dating sites like SDC, Kasidie, Quiver, FriendFinder, etc. to find other swingers. They scan their pictures and read profiles in the hopes of finding like minded and attractive couples to meet. The process on swinger dating sites generally involves one couple picking out another and sending them an email expressing interest. The receiver of the email will open the profile of the sender and begin with their photos. If there is any spark of interest, they will read the profile. If the receiver of the email likes what they see, chances are they will respond to your email. What happens if the couple opens the email and has no interest? Many times they will simply delete the email and forget about it. Obviously you will realize they are not interested right? This way of handling an email of no interest is called “ghosting”. Some couples feel this is the easiest way to convey there is no interest. Other couples feel you owe some type of response to the people who sent the email. How do you reject someone without hurting their feelings? Is it possible to turn someone down without hurting their feelings? It seems that whatever you say will cause some pain. Often times couples say they simply reply: “We are not a match.” Surely the couple reading that email will take it personally, especially if their profiles seemed to align. This truly is the kindest possible response. No need to explain why, just a simple reply to let them know. Sometimes couples feel compelled to be honest Honesty is the best policy, right? Here I have to disagree. There is no need to explain that one of you is not attracted to the sender. No need to comment on their age, weight or other physical characteristic. There is never a reason to be cruel or hurtful. If you specified in your profile that you are looking for something specific that does not match the sender, then it is ok to point that out. Even in this case, there are ways to say things without being mean. What if you are not interested in a couple you meet in person? Rejecting couples in an email is not that hard. What happens when you are face to face with a couple and you have no interest? If this is a couple that approaches you in a club, it is easy to walk away. You make an excuse about going to the restroom or to dance. When you do not return, that should be easy for them to understand. If they seek you out upon your return, letting them know that you would like to walk around and talk to other couples will hopefully be enough. If a couple is trying to join you while in a play area, usually simply not responding to their advances is enough to let them know. For the bolder couple who does not seem to pick up on non verbal cues, saying no thank you should send them on their way. The most complicated is when you have agreed to meet in person after exchanging text messages or emails. It is probably a good idea to make your first meeting for a quick cup of coffee. If there is interest, you can always move to sharing a meal. If your date with another couple is over a meal, this can be more complicated. You and your partner should think about this beforehand and come up with a plan. A simple gesture that you agree upon will let each other know how you are feeling. If one of you wants out, the gesture will let your partner know. The plan should include a way to graciously end the date as soon as possible. This can be followed up with an email explaining that although you thought they were very nice, the chemistry was not there. What about the couples who simply won’t take no for an answer? Rejection is always hard because you know you are hurting someone. If the other couple is gracious, this makes it easy. When the other couple simply won’t take no for an answer, it can lead to a much uglier situation. We have found ourselves in situations where a simple no thank you has turned sour. In a case like this it is important to remember that it is not your problem, but theirs. While we chose to take the high road and be kind, there are couples who somehow feel entitled to your time and attention. Whether this occurs online or in person it can be frustrating. Blocking the couple online is a no brainer. In person, it becomes a bit more difficult. Avoiding them seems to be the only way around a future problem. If they hang out in the same club as you, chances are you are not alone in your dealings with them. Eventually these couples are isolated because of their behavior. Bottom line? At some point in time you will have to reject couples and couples will reject you. Do not take it personally, simply move on. Looking to find others in the lifestyle? Look for our lifestyle jewelry! Find it here: www.PartnersID.com

I travel often for business, and my wife and I have an open marriage. What happens on the road, stays on the road, and what my wife does while I’m on the road is all good. (I just want to hear all about it.) Recently my work took me to Boston and while I have been there before, I never really thought of is as a place that would be riddled with swingers. Boston is a college town with so many young people that I never thought much about swinging when I visited in the past. What set this trip apart was that my wife surprised me for our anniversary and bought me a beautiful gold and silver necklace from you, which of course has the pendant for swingers. I wear it everyday but never really expected to meet random swingers. Well, I was wrong on two accounts. First, Boston is a whole lot more than a college town, and second, you will meet random swingers when you wear Partners ID jewelry. After spending the morning in a meeting, I needed to get some fresh air. I walked out to find a Starbucks so I could sit and answer some emails. I ordered coffee, sat down at a table, and got to work. Soon after sitting down, a couple walked over and asked if they could sit at the table with me. I glanced up at them and told them no problem. We were sitting in a corner where we had relative privacy. Starbucks was busy, so seating was limited. I looked back down and started to type when I overheard the conversation between the couple. They were discussing travel plans for an upcoming vacation and how they were excited to finally meet a couple they were talking to on SDC. As soon as I heard SDC, I looked up and they were both looking at me. I didn’t say anything but the woman asked me if I was on SDC. I was taken back but then she pointed to my necklace. Honestly I couldn’t believe it! I told her I am on SDC. She opened her bag, took out a card and handed it to me. She said she hoped to hear from me soon. With that, the two of the them got up from the table and left. I was so shocked I could hardly believe what had just happened. How lucky to be in the right place at the right time! Needless to say, i immediately signed on to SDC to check them out. They looked to be a very hot couple who are totally open so I sent them an email telling them I was only in town until the next day but would love to meet up with them. I got a response from them within a half an hour inviting me to their home that evening. I won’t go into too much detail but I will say it was a wonderful experience that I would never have had if it were not for wearing your necklace. As you can see I have placed an order for a few more pieces. Although my new friends knew what the jewelry meant, they did not own the jewelry. As a thank-you I have purchased these pieces for them. I am very excited for what I might experience in the future. We have been swinging for more than 20 years and nothing like this has ever happened to me before. This is a great help for swingers who like to meet others in unlikely places. Chris K. Looking for the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world? Find it here: www.Etsy.com/shop/swingersjewelry

Swinger resorts are like summer camp for swingers. From the time you step foot off the plane until you step back onto the plane, you are in for non stop fun. Vacations are meant to be fun filled and relaxing at the same time, and these resorts offer the best of both worlds. Most swingers who have been to one of the resorts return home with stories of fun and excitement. What about couples who are not actually swingers, but rather are curious about the lifestyle? Is a lifestyle resort a place they might enjoy? That totally depends on the couple. I use ‘couple’ because some resorts don’t even allow single guests. For many swingers, they appreciate the more relaxed atmosphere that this rule creates. Many couples hear about swinging and they think they are ready to jump right in, while others would like to test the waters a bit before committing to anything with anyone. They are in the “I just want to watch” mode and so they worry that these resorts might not be the right place for them. Lifestyle resorts are actually a wonderful way for both types of newbies to get an up close look at what swinging is really like. For those who just want to observe, there is no pressure to be involved because of the shear number of people around. For those who want to jump in with both feet, there will be plenty of swingers who would be happy to show you the ropes. Some resorts are more upscale in terms of the accommodations and the food. If this is important to you, pay close attention to online reviews. One thing that is especially important is to try to book your trip when there is a swinger group expected at the resort. The resorts are always liveliest when swinger groups are scheduled to be there. The different resorts also seem to attract different age groups. Some attract the younger groups while others tend to host more of the older swingers. This is especially important if age matters to you. A word of caution: younger crowds do not necessarily mean more swinging. Again, try to coordinate your trip with specific swinger groups to make sure the resort is not too quiet. In terms of having your first ever swinging experience at a lifestyle resort, you have to know what you are comfortable with before you arrive. Communicate with your partner regarding what you are hoping for while you are there and what is absolutely off limits. Without a doubt, if you are looking to swing, this will be possible at any lifestyle resort. The important this is to have this conversation before you arrive. Make sure both of you are on the same page. If you want to jump right in a swap with another couple, make sure your partner agrees with this. Seasoned swingers do not like to find themselves in between a couple who is arguing or unhappy. If you discuss things before arriving at the resort, this should make the experience smoother and more enjoyable for everyone. Check the website before you go as most places have theme nights at their clubs. You will be expected to dress in theme if you want to attend the clubs. Some resorts are clothing optional while some enforce nudity. These types of resorts usually attract both nudists and swingers. Do not confuse nudists with swingers as they are not interchangeable. One of the reasons we developed the lifestyle jewelry was to make it easy to know who the swingers are while vacationing at resorts such as these. Make sure the resort you are looking into hosts swingers, as some naturist resorts do not. Will people expect you to play? This is a logical concern for those new to the lifestyle and the answer is no. Nobody will expect anything from you, especially if you make it clear at the start. Don’t flirt with other couples and lead them on if you have no intention of following through. Most swingers think if couples are at these resorts it is because they are looking to play with others. Will we be able to watch other couples play if we are not playing? Yes, it is not uncommon to see couples playing on the beach or in the water. If you wander around at night you can see people all around playing. Some leave their hotel doors open so others can come in and watch. Many times there are games during the day at the pool or foam parties and lots of people will be playing then as well. The best part for new couples is that it will give them a chance to meet other swingers and see how nice and inclusive most of them can be. It is also helpful to discover that swingers remain happy together even after playing with others. This is usually of concern to couples who do not swing. The vacation is intended to be fun and swingers know how to have a good time. What resorts have you been to that you would recommend? We have been to Desire Riviera Maya, Desire Pearl, Cap D’agde, Secrets Hideaway, Caliente and Hedonism. We have been to a few others but they were too small to call them resorts. We had a great time at each place and we like them all for different reasons. The best way to choose is to go online and take a look at each place. Their locations vary so sometimes that will make the decision for you. Read the reviews on each and go to forums on different sites to ask other people’s opinions. No matter which place you choose, don’t go with preconceived notions as to what will happen when you are there. No expectations means you cannot be disappointed that something did not go as planned. If you want something to happen, chances are it will Be friendly, open minded and enjoy!

Dear Partners ID, This note could have been sent a few years back but as they say: better late than never! My husband and I purchased jewelry from you about 4 years ago. We loved the concept and figured we had nothing to lose! I will admit we were a bit afraid to wear it every day in case people spotted us. Obviously, we have changed and now laugh at how silly we were. Anyway, we have 2 children and every summer they attend a sleep away camp in the Berkshire Mountains. Each summer there is a visiting day for parents to come and visit their children for the day. Since we live south of the camp, we generally make it a weekend get away. First we go into Manhattan and enjoy the city for a night, then continue the next day up to Connecticut, where we spend the second night. Since we had been in New York City, we did wear our jewelry when we went out. The next day, we both wore the jewelry again when we headed up to visit our daughters. The day was spent watching our daughters enjoy the different activities and we had a big picnic for all of the families out on the lawn. I was standing in line to get some food when the woman in front of me put her hand out to reach for some utensils. I immediately noticed her black ring. As she then put her arm around her young daughter I could see the symbol! Bingo! I tapped her on the shoulder and introduced myself. She was very friendly and asked if our children were bunkmates. I tugged on the charm hanging from my necklace and she burst out laughing. We introduced ourselves and she asked if we would like o join them for lunch. The four of us clicked and our girls did know each other. After lunch we exchanged cell phone numbers and they asked where we were headed after the day was over. We invited them to meet us for a drink back at the hotel where we were staying. Long story short, we played well into the night and keep in touch during the year. They live far away from us but we now meet each summer for visiting day (except , of course, during COVID because the camp was closed). I cannot tell you what a wonderful friendship has been formed because of your jewelry. It made me realize how many missed opportunities exist simply because we would never know who else was in the lifestyle without some identification. We proudly wear the jewelry of all the time now and have met 3 other couples over the years. Thank you for your hard work! We are huge fans! Kisses! Kylie and Teddy

Dear Partners ID, I will admit, I was a bit skeptical about purchasing swinger jewelry. We were unsure if anyone would actually know what it was, but thought, what the heck, it’s cute, we have nothing to lose! After purchasing a necklace for myself and a ring for my husband we started to wear them when we went out at night. One night we were meeting friends for dinner at a local restaurant. When we arrived they were waiting at the bar, talking to a man we did not know. They introduced us and within a few minutes, the maitre d came to tell us our table was ready. The other couple asked if we would mind if he joined us and we said that would be fine. He was a coworker of our friend and they had known each other for a very long time. During dinner I couldn’t help but notice that every time he grabbed his glass to sip his wine, he would clink his ring on the glass. I glanced down to see what was making so much noise and I realized he was wearing the same ring as my husband! OMG I couldn’t believe it! He caught me looking and simply smiled at me. Well, let me tell you, it was the beginning of a very fun evening! After dinner, we all said our good nights and walked toward our cars. As we approached our car the man with the ring pulled up behind our car and rolled down his window. He invited us for a night cap at his home. My husband and I looked at each other and said sure! I don’t think we wore the jewelry more than a handful of times and this was the result! Trust me, the jewelry works! Thank you so much for your efforts on behalf of the lifestyle community! P and J Tenafly, NJ

Hey Partners ID, Here is my quick story about how I met the coolest guy because I was wearing your necklace. I am a runner, have been running my whole life. I’m kind of a female Forrest Gump. Anyway, I have been in the lifestyle for the past 10 or so years. It started when I graduated from college and my boyfriend and I were looking for something more. Sex between us was fine but I think we were both a little bit bored. Fast forward 5 years and we are no longer together, but I am still in the lifestyle. Dating can be a challenge at times as vanilla men are weary of “sharing their girlfriends”. Looking to meet other swingers in my every day life, I bought a necklace from your shop. I put it on and wear it all the time. Last weekend I was out for a run, listening to my music when this man tapped me as I ran past him. I turned to look and he pointed to my necklace. That made me turn around and approach him. He was super hot so I was eager to meet him. Well, turns out he is in the lifestyle and also has your jewelry! To make a long story short, I have a new boyfriend and I have you to thank! If anyone is wondering if other swingers will know, the answer is, yes! I am living, breathing, proof of this! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! A fan for life! ~ Nicole

Ok, I will admit that I used to have more tolerance for the stupid questions and assumptions that vanilla people make about swingers. I understood that this was a concept that took time to grasp. What has changed? Why have I lost patience with this? Perhaps is because the internet provides a safe place for people to gain knowledge about things they do not understand. It isn’t hard to google a question and see what others have to say. Reading forums, blogs and listening to podcasts is enough to help anyone to gain insight into things they are unfamiliar with, right? Then why do vanilla people still make assumptions about a lifestyle they do not comprehend? Clearly, they have not taken the time to do their homework. It is rare that I hear someone in the lifestyle talk negatively about friends or family members who are monogamous. We simply shrug our shoulders and declare that to be their choice. Although vanilla people might believe otherwise, most swingers do not have a tremendous interest in converting others; educating yes, converting, no. Like most people in the lifestyle, we have to share our time with people from both worlds. We are often with lifestyle friends and partying in clubs but we also have to take time to be with family and friends who are not in the lifestyle. Some family members and some friends know that we are swingers. This is where the questions come from… If you really love each other, why do you need to have sex with other people? Doesn’t it make you jealous to see your husband/wife being intimate with another person? Obviously, what you are doing is not normal, which is why everyone else is not doing it. Have you thought about that? What happens when one of you falls in love with someone you are swinging with? How would you feel if others found that you two are swingers? These seem to be the core, recurring questions. After spending over 15 years in the lifestyle, we have discovered an easy way to answer these questions. First of all, how many couples who are in a long term relationship are 100% faithful? Although we would like to believe that most married or committed couples are faithful, the truth is, the vast majority are not. This makes answering the above questions take on a new twist. Often times, we have noticed that people are quick to pass judgement without understanding the facts. We insist that if people truly want to hear what we have to say, people must be open to listening to our responses. Let us begin with question number 1: If you really love each other, why do you need to have sex with other people? As most swingers have figured out, love and sex are not mutually exclusive. Sharing your life with someone is simply not something one can compare to a night of random sex. Sex is a physical act while love comes from the heart. You do not need to love someone to have sex with them. Honestly, you do not have to like, or even know someone, to have sex with them. More importantly, we do not ‘need’ to have sex with others, we choose to do this. The majority of swingers will tell you that sex with their partner is great. What they are looking for is variety and excitement. Both of these add to their shared sex life. What’s important to point out here? We do it together, not behind each other’s back. Doesn’t it make you jealous to see your husband/wife being intimate with another person? The answer to this question always surprises vanilla people. No, it does not make us jealous. There is a word swingers seem to understand that vanilla people cannot: compersion. (urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Compersion). ( Ironically, this word is not found in a standard dictionary.) It means: A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship. It is exciting to see your partner with someone else. We have been programmed to think otherwise but the reality is quite stimulating! Obviously, what you are doing is not normal, which is why everyone else is not doing it. Have you thought about that? This one sounds like something your parents would say upon learning you are swingers. Our response: define normal. We never try to tell people that what we do is right for everyone, but we do believe people should decide what works for them. Nobody needs outside interference in their personal lives. We both understand that if you have never been in the lifestyle, it is a foreign concept. Most people have a hard time wrapping their minds around the idea. However, if they were honest, many would like to give it a try. Not because they don’t love their significant other, but the thought of having sex with someone else is erotic and exciting. Especially if their spouse is on board with it. What happens when one of you falls in love with someone you are swinging with? Unfortunately, this is something that can happen whether someone is in the lifestyle or not. We can never predict when two people will meet and fall in love. It can happen anywhere between any two people. Does it happen more often between swingers? No, it definitely does not. Swingers generally enter the lifestyle looking to enjoy sex with other people. Not because they don’t love their partner or because they are looking for someone with whom to share their life. Does the added intimacy of having sex with someone heighten the risk or the chances of this occurring? Not when it is done properly. For us, after a night with another couple, we return home with each other and back to our lives. We close the door and leave that world behind. How would you feel if others found out that you two are swingers? Neither of us would really care. Honestly, we keep it quiet for our families. We do not want to cause problems for our children or our parents. We feel that what we do in our private lives is personal. Some of our friends know and others do not. We are not ashamed to be swingers. As a matter of fact, it is quite the opposite! Most people we know who are in the lifestyle, have been swinging for years. They have also encountered curiosity seekers and been asked many questions regarding the lifestyle. It is only natural for people to want to understand how we can remain happily married while seeking out sex with others. What is important to us, is to make sure the person asking realizes that it is something we do as a couple. Swinging requires honesty, openness and communication. When a couple incorporates those three things into their relationship, the lifestyle will not cause problems. It seems there will always be people who are skeptical about the lifestyle. The best we can do is to be prepared for the questions and comments. Listen to their views and then ask them to listen to yours. It certainly won’t change most people’s minds, but it might give them some food for thought. Looking for lifestyle jewelry? Our symbol is the official symbol for swingers, and is recognized around the world. Stop wondering, start playing... Find it here: https://www.partnersid.com/etsy-shop

Sunny Florida was anything but sunny this past Sunday, and so my hubby and I settled in for some Netflix. Cruising through the “things you might like” section we stumbled across a series called Sex/Life. Sounded like something we would enjoy, so we clicked to watch. What is so interesting about this show, is how it portrays the importance of sex and intimacy in any solid relationship. The summation of the show is that this beautiful woman, who appears to have it all, is actually miserable in her marriage. She loves her husband and is very attracted to him, but he has become caught up in his role as father and provider and has lost interest in her as a woman. The show hones in on the sexual appetite and desires of this married woman. After 8 years of marriage, she begins to fantasize about an old lover with whom she had intense sex. Like this is missing from her life, it becomes a constant thought for her. She decides to write about her past relationship with her former erotic boyfriend and her husband finds and reads it. Rather than lashing out, he tries to recreate this erotic and reckless sexual behavior to satisfy her. What it made me realize, was how he needed to remember that other men found his wife sexually desirable for him to look at her this way as well. Watching this show made me think about why swinging is so helpful for some relationships. It doesn’t matter how attractive or sexy anyone is, after a while, people want something different. It is not because couples stop loving each other, but rather because people get bored. Swinging allows couples to get back to a place where they can be sexual again. There is something about the lifestyle that brings couples closer. Men watch their wives ( and vice versa) flirting and teasing other men and it puts them in a new light. All of the sudden you see your significant other the way you remember them when you met. It creates a new spark and you find yourself enjoying watching them play with others, knowing that you will get to do so afterwards. The lifestyle brings passion back into relationships that originated with this. It brings couples to remember that work and family and paying bills is only one piece of who you are. The other piece is this naughty couple who are looking for fun together. Sneaking around, laughing at almost being caught by vanilla friends and family who would never understand. The bond it creates strengthens what you already have together. Even when couples opt to enjoy the lifestyle without swinging. They benefit from the atmosphere which is warm and sexual. I imagine if the couple in this show were to try swinging. It seems that they could have it all. Rather than one of them looking outside of their marriage to fulfill their needs, they would be looking together. The lifestyle is not for everyone but I personally believe many couples would benefit from it. Looking to find other couples? Try wearing our lifestyle jewelry. Partners ID is the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world. Find it here: www.PartnersID.com