This past weekend, my husband and I found ourselves nestled in a small corner of a mattress in the back room of a swing club.
Not because the couples surrounding us piqued our interest, but simply because it was the only available spot we could find.
I couldn’t help but wonder if the back room could be any more crowded. Couples were everywhere, utilizing every inch of available space. Many chose to play standing up, with a few occasionally backing into an emergency exit and inadvertently setting off the fire alarm.
Interestingly, that Saturday was not a special night at the club. SDC, Kasidie, and SLS events tend to draw large crowds, but they were absent. It wasn’t New Year’s or Halloween; it was just another Saturday night at Trapeze in Fort Lauderdale.
It felt ironic to me because, on that same day, I stumbled upon an old Time Magazine article titled, “Why Are We All Having So Little Sex?” Clearly, the term "all" does not include swingers. We are not only having sex; it’s standing room only!
Once again, swingers make a compelling case for consensual non-monogamy.
The sex that swingers are enjoying is far from mundane or routine. It’s not an obligation or a waiting game to see who initiates. Swingers actively seek out excitement, creating an atmosphere where sex is like dessert. People come to enjoy dinner, have drinks, dance, and finally make their way to the play area.
One key aspect of swing clubs is that sex is not confined to home.
It’s akin to checking into a hotel. Even couples who have fallen into a rut at home often find themselves more inclined to be intimate in a hotel. The change of scenery and absence of distractions (especially kids) can reignite the flame.
Couples typically put in extra effort to get ready: women dress to impress, and men strive to look their best. The whole process of preparing to go out adds to the allure.
At a swing club, sex is on the menu.
You can partake if you choose; if not, that’s perfectly fine too. The temptation, much like chocolate cake, lies in its availability. Behind closed doors, an oasis of naked bodies is eager for fun. Whether you opt for a little taste or indulge fully, the point remains—swingers haven’t let the ball drop on a vital aspect of their relationships and overall well-being.
Sex is beneficial; it serves as exercise with no calories or chemicals, and it can’t be experienced through a smartphone or computer. It offers good old-fashioned face-to-face intimacy with another person.
You won’t hear couples in a swing club debating whether or not they feel like having sex that night. Instead, conversations often revolve around whom they’d like to play with.
One issue plaguing long-term relationships isn’t merely the routine of sex, but often a lack of desire exhibited by one’s partner. In the early stages of many relationships, the air is thick with lust; you can’t get enough of each other, and sex becomes a thrilling constant.
Often, when couples move in together, that insatiable desire often diminishes.
Though we try everything to keep the flame alive, life tends to intervene, and our partners don’t always see us at our best. New experiences in the bedroom can only go so far; eventually, novelty fades, and the excitement diminishes, even in loving partnerships.
This is where swingers have it figured out.
By swapping partners, everyone wins. Each person gets to experience something new and exciting. Dressed to impress, swingers hope to attract someone new, and in the process, their partners see them in a fresh light as well.
I recall the first night my husband and I ventured into a swing club. He looked incredible, and I wore something sexier than I had in years. We barely made it to the club, our hands already exploring each other in the car.
When couples step outside their routine and engage in something new to reignite their sex lives, the outcomes can be pleasantly surprising.
Couples don’t swing because they no longer love each other; rather, it's quite the opposite. They’re looking to rediscover that spark. Feeling beautiful, sexy, and desired is crucial for both men and women, and swinging offers a fantastic opportunity to rekindle those feelings.
For many, the idea of swinging appears daunting. Fear often arises from the worry that a partner will find someone new. This common concern for novices isn’t typically realized when couples enter the lifestyle with the right intentions.
The true issue lies with couples who have stopped having sex altogether.
Even as we grow older and find ourselves in committed relationships, our human nature demands connection and intimacy.
When couples who have ceased to engage in sex still seek validation regarding their attractiveness, it can lead to misunderstandings and inappropriate behavior, often culminating in infidelity.
So, what’s the takeaway?
It’s perfectly natural for sex to lose some excitement in long-term relationships, but it’s not acceptable to halt sexual activity entirely. Having an affair is also never the solution.
When I read that article questioning why we have so little sex, I couldn’t help but exclaim, “Not me!”
If you love your partner and are simply looking to spice things up between you two, swinging might be just what you need!
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