Balancing the swinging lifestyle with the responsibilities of parenthood can feel like a high-wire act. When I first drafted this article, I humorously titled it “Swinging with Children,” but quickly realized that might invite the wrong kind of attention! So, let’s dive into the real topic: navigating the lifestyle when you have kids at home.
Challenges with Young Children: Anyone who’s in the lifestyle and has children knows the juggling act it requires. When your children are young, the primary obstacle is usually childcare. Staying out until 2 or 3 in the morning means babysitters might start wondering where on earth you’re going. While grandparents are a lifesaver, even they have limits on how many sleepovers they can handle.
Then there’s the challenge of coming home. After a night of fun, you might not look as put together as when you left. Wet hair, misbuttoned shirts, and inside-out clothes are just a few of the giveaways. Changing clothes in the car or garage becomes a necessity to avoid being caught in your "party" attire.
Young children don’t care how late you were out—they’ll be up at the crack of dawn, ready to play. Despite these hurdles, handling young kids might be simpler than dealing with older ones.
Challenges with Older Children: As your children grow older, the complexities increase. One significant challenge is where to hide your swinger clothes. A locked closet might seem secure, but kids have a knack for finding things. I remember my kids telling my mother about my collection of “hooker shoes,” even though they were in a locked closet with a hidden key.
Sneaking out of the house with a change of clothing also becomes trickier. Trust me, your children will notice if you’re wearing something unusual under your sweater. I found that planning ahead is crucial. When the kids aren’t home, stash your outfit in the trunk of your car or hide it in the garage.
Returning home with older kids can be a major hurdle. They never seem to sleep! No matter how late you come back, they’re often still awake, which means you need to change back into your original clothes and look presentable. Be prepared for the inevitable questions: “Where were you until this hour, and who were you with?” Frequent nights out can become suspicious, as teenagers know nothing stays open that late.
Challenges with Adult Children: We often imagine that once our children are grown and out of the house, we’ll be able to enjoy the lifestyle without a care in the world. Unfortunately, adult children bring their own set of challenges. There’s always the possibility they could show up at a swing club or lifestyle event. Multiply that risk by the number of friends they have, and the chances of an awkward encounter increase.
Additionally, they might expect you to babysit their children, but you’re rarely available. They might suggest you come by after your night out, not realizing you’ll be back around 3 AM. They also tend to ask for itineraries when you travel, which can be tricky if you’re headed to a lifestyle cruise or swinger resort. Eventually, they might borrow your phone and notice that all your friends have no last names or the same (code) last name.
The bottom line: Navigating the swinging lifestyle with children, whether young, older, or even grown, presents unique challenges. Creativity and planning are essential. Make sure you and your spouse are on the same page with the stories you’ll tell, as consistency is crucial. Remember, your children are often smarter than you think. Embrace the fun and unpredictability—it keeps the lifestyle interesting!
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