Are your neighbors swingers?
Updated: Aug 3
Dear Partners ID,
I often read forums and other blogs and articles about swinging. One of the many recurring questions seems to be about neighbors. Why are so many people wondering if their neighbors might be swingers? Even if they are, would it be advisable to approach them or to play with them?
My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years. Before your jewelry came along, we also thought guessing who else were swingers was a fun game. We had suspicions about our neighbors and after a night of drinking, we decided to go for it.
They were totally open to playing and after a few nights of fun, my wife and I thought that this was the perfect set up! We could invite them to our home and nobody even has to drive home!
What we discovered was that neighbors make for bad playmates and that swinging is best done with people who are not a part of your daily life.
Don’t misunderstand the concept. My neighbors were super sexy and we had some incredibly fun nights together. The problem was something else. The male neighbor did not know how to act around my wife or me after the first experience. He would make comments when we were in mixed company (even around our children), that were inappropriate and crude. My wife and I did try to discuss it with both him and his wife, but it was useless.
Things got so bad, we had to move. Yes, we actually had to sell the family home and move away. This was difficult for our children and even for my job, but we had no choice. Trying to break off the relationship with the neighbors took a nasty turn and their recourse was to tell people that we are swingers.
Long story short, we do not recommend ever even attempting to discover if your neighbors are swingers. If they are, good for them; if they are not, all the better.
A note from Partners ID regarding this topic:
Entering into a swinging relationship with a neighbor may seem alluring at first, especially if you are already on good terms with them and share a certain level of trust. However, there are several reasons why this might not be a good idea:
Privacy Concerns: Swinging is a highly personal and private lifestyle choice. If things don't work out or feelings change, it can lead to awkward and uncomfortable situations, making it challenging to maintain privacy within your neighborhood.
Impact on Neighborhood Relations: A swinging relationship with a neighbor could complicate the dynamics within the neighborhood. If word gets out or if someone finds out unintentionally, it may create tension or gossip among other neighbors, which could negatively impact your social life.
Emotional Attachments: Swinging relationships often involve emotional connections, even if it's meant to be purely physical. Being intimate with someone you see frequently in a non-sexual context can blur the lines and lead to potential emotional complications.
Jealousy and Insecurity: Swinging requires a high level of trust and open communication. Being intimate with a neighbor may trigger jealousy or insecurities in both parties, as it's difficult to separate emotions from physical connections.
Boundaries and Consent: It can be challenging to establish and maintain clear boundaries with a neighbor in a swinging relationship. Misunderstandings and miscommunications might occur, potentially leading to conflicts.
Impact on Home Life: Swinging involves setting aside dedicated time for such activities, and doing so with a neighbor might interfere with your everyday home life and create uncomfortable situations when you encounter them in non-swinger contexts.
Unforeseen Consequences: If the swinging relationship does not work out as expected, there's a possibility that it could lead to resentment, awkwardness, or even the end of the friendship or neighborly relationship altogether.
Exposing Private Life: Keeping a swinging lifestyle private becomes even more challenging when involved with a neighbor. The risk of exposure to friends, family, or other neighbors can lead to social consequences and judgments.
Difficulty Disengaging: Ending a swinging relationship with a neighbor can be complicated. If you decide to end the arrangement, you'll still be living close to the person, potentially causing ongoing discomfort and emotional challenges.
While the idea of swinging with a neighbor may have some initial appeal due to existing trust and familiarity, it is generally not recommended. Swinging requires clear communication, boundaries, and a high level of discretion to ensure that all parties involved have a positive and respectful experience. Mixing such
an intimate lifestyle with a neighbor can complicate matters and potentially lead to unintended consequences that could negatively impact your personal life and neighborhood relations.
Looking to swing? It's so easy to find other swingers when you know what to look for!
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