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I would be willing to bet that almost every person in the world who looks in the mirror sees at least one flaw with their body. For some people, it might be nothing more than a small blemish, while for others, it can be a major disfigurement. This can be a serious impediment in enjoying the lifestyle. Every person in the lifestyle would like to have a healthy self image but for some, it can be a real struggle. For these individuals, the issue is about more than an extra five pounds or a breakout the day of an event. The types of individuals I am talking about have more serious conditions which makes removing their clothing a whole different ballgame. Body disfigurement is when a person’s appearance has been deeply and persistently harmed, such as from a disease, birth defect, or wound. People with these types of conditions can suffer greatly with self image, making the lifestyle a genuine struggle for them. Imagine how difficult everyday life is when dealing with these types of issues. Now think about how much more difficult a social situation might be. Consider how hard it is for them to have to undress in public and how much harder it is for them to feel confident enough to try to swing. Whether the person is an amputee, has a visible skin condition, or large scars from surgeries, disrobing can be difficult. While we would like to think adults would be kind enough to treat them the same as we would anybody else, this is not always the case. The last thing anyone with this type of issue wants is for others to stare. Perhaps the best way to try to mask some of these issues is to wear items of clothing or lingerie into the playroom. Discreetly covering scars or some deformities can be more easily achieved than others. Amputees can make use of towels or robes to cover the affected limb. This can help ease their discomfort in front of others. While this might solve their discomfort somewhat, there is the still the issue of playing with others. Having worked with people with disabilities and physical deformities in the past, I know how difficult these situations can be for them under normal circumstances. The lifestyle is an extreme example of an obstacle for them to overcome. Even if they are totally comfortable with their bodies, others might not be. So how best to handle this? Some people might prefer to say something up front so there are no surprises and they can gauge the comfort level of a potential play partner. Others might prefer to attempt to conceal whatever they might have. It is an individual decision that each person must decide upon. Regardless of how they approach this, there is no doubt that they are hoping for an understanding and compassionate playmate. If you find yourself in a position where you are either playing or about to play with someone who has a genuine body issue, try to see things from their perspective. Reacting to a person with any type of disfigurement with shock or disgust is both cruel and immature. Always be respectful of everyone and remember that people have to go through things that perhaps you have been lucky enough to avoid. Between burns, cancers and accidents, many people will have some type of visible scars or deformities. To ease the anticipation of how others might respond to you if you have a disability or condition of any kind, it might help to meet people online first. This gives you the opportunity to weed out those who can’t handle things like this. It can always be a footnote in your profile, or simply mention it to those you communicate with that you are interested in meeting in person. This way if someone agrees to meet you, you know they have no issue with it. Most people who decide to be in the lifestyle with body issues such as these are pretty confidant people. They are willing to put themselves out there knowing that others might reject them. Can you do me a favor? If you encounter someone with any kind of body issue, give them a break. Kindness goes a long way to helping others feel good about themselves.

My husband and I have been together for 12 years. I met him in a dive bar years ago. We were both drunk, he was hot and we ended up together in a bathroom stall. This is who we were then and we have not changed much. The two of us pretty much do our own thing. No secrets is our only rule. We tried traditional swinging and such but it wasn’t for us. I am not a fan of swing clubs or hotel takeovers because of the predictability. Everyone knows the routine and I prefer spontaneity. With my husband’s blessing, I am a hotwife. I am always on the prowl for a hot guy looking for a quick fuck. Trust me I could tell you stories all day long about some of the crazy things I’ve done. Sometimes the guys I meet are awesome, I’ve also met my share of total dicks. My husband is on the road for business pretty often and this gives me lots of time to myself. (Just thinking about that makes me smile.) So here is why I am writing to you: I was looking for some kind of symbol that alerted men to the fact that I’m looking to play. Unsure of what that might be, I did some research and came across your website. As I did not want to advertise that I am a swinger per se, I spotted your vixen charm. The girl that helped me was sweet and I decided to put the charm on a necklace with the swinger pendant. I figured between the two, someone would know what I was looking for! With the necklace around my neck I headed out to a busy happy hour in a business district not far from home. I will say, almost every man who talked to me at the bar asked me about the necklace. Even if they did not know what it meant from seeing it, it did give me the opportunity to tell them! What a fun night that was! A few weeks after it arrived (I wear it all the time), I stopped for a drink on my way home one night. A man came up to me and ran his hands through the back of my hair. As I turned to see who it was, I noticed he was wearing a bracelet with the pendant. Not the first time I was in a bathroom stall with a stranger! I don’t even know his name but what a great time we had! After this experience I had to order a bracelet for my husband. Hopefully he will have as much luck and I will be writing about his story! Great jewelry! Kisses to you all~ Amanda The Vixen

Dear Partners ID, First we want to thank you for your patience when working with our group. We know it was not easy to please us all, but everyone was very professional and kind throughout the process! The outcome is exactly what we had hoped for! We live in a part of the country where people have no tolerance for swingers. It is a religious area and we were brought up to understand that sex is strictly between a husband and a wife. Without the internet, we would never have had access to other swingers simply because there are no clubs for hundreds of miles. Our need for the jewelry was not to find new swingers (although if that happens we will be thrilled) but to be able to find each other. There are about 25 couples in our little secret group and we try to get together at least once a month. What we discovered is that although we sometimes cross paths during our daily outings, we don’t always recognize one another. None of us look exactly the same as we do when we are all dazzled up for a night out! One time, thought I spotted one of the women while out shopping, but I was not sure and so I did not approach her. That was when we started to think about wearing some kind of jewelry that only we would recognize. My husband and I are planning a trip to Texas this summer to visit some family. Hopefully, the jewelry will help us to find some playmates while traveling! Great concept and beautiful jewelry! Thanks Partners ID! Meghan and Rex

The original title for this article was actually “Swinging with Children” but when I went back to edit it, I was afraid the Feds would come knocking at my door. For that reason the title had to be changed to “Swinging when you have children.” Anyone who is in the lifestyle and has children, quickly discovers the challenges involved in juggling this ‘double life’. There are a number of interesting things to consider when you have children and this does not just apply to small children. When you start swinging and your children are young, the biggest obstacle is generally child care. It quickly becomes apparent that if you are planning to stay out until 2 or 3 in the morning, babysitters can create small problems. Although most will never ask, many savvy babysitters will wonder where you are going that stays open that late. Grandma and Grandpa are great but they are only going to have sleep overs so often! Another problem is that after having wild sex and getting dressed to return home, you probably do not look as put together as you did when you left your house. There are times your hair will be wet from sweating, your shirt will be buttoned wrong, your fly might not be zipped back up or you are wearing something inside out. That is only if you can return home in what you wore while you were out. Many of us must change our clothing either in the garage or in the car because we would never be caught dead in our “hooker” clothes! With young children, another problem is that they do not really care how late you were out the night before. They get up before the sun and you are going to have to pay for that! Other than that, young children might be less complicated to handle than older ones when you swing. When your children are a little bit older but still live at home, the problems can be even more challenging. First off, where to hide your swinger clothes? It helps to have a spare closet with a lock on it (and even then), your children will find it. I can remember my kids telling my mother how many pairs of “hooker shoes” I own. These shoes were in a locked closet that has a key that I thought was well hidden. Apparently I was wrong. Sneaking out of the house with a change of clothing can also become tricky. If you think your children won’t notice that you are wearing something under your sweater, trust me, they will. After many attempts to fool them, I discovered the only way is to plan ahead. When the kids are not home, plan your outfit out ahead of time and put it in the trunk of your car or hide it in the garage. Returning home with older kids can also pose a big challenge. They never go to sleep! No matter how late you come home, somehow they are always awake and you cannot avoid them. This means you must change back into the clothing you left the house in and make sure you don’t look like a hot mess! Be prepared to answer the question they will inevitably ask: where were you until this hour and who were you with? If you are out swinging often, it starts to become a challenge! Teenaged children are aware that nothing stays open so late. Somehow, we imagined that when our children were old enough to leave home we would be able to enjoy the lifestyle without a care in the world. We deserve this, no? Well, unfortunately the grown children present their own set of challenges for us. First of all we have to consider that one day they could show up in a swing club or at a lifestyle event all on their own. Now multiply your children by the number of friends they have. They too, might stumble upon the club we frequent one night! Secondly, they would like us to babysit from time to time but we are never available. They say they don’t mind going out later. We can just come by when we return home to watch the kids for a few hours…Yes, we will be back around 3am if that works for you. They ask for itineraries when we travel but we cannot provide one because we are headed out on a lifestyle cruise or to a swinger resort. Eventually they will borrow your phone and ask why all your friends have no last names or the same (code) last name. Yes, the lifestyle certainly presents challenges from day one when you have children. You must learn to be creative and most importantly to plan ahead. Make sure you and your spouse discuss what story you will tell as it’s very important to relay the same story! Unfortunately, at some point there will be questions and strange looks as your children are much smarter than you think. It’s all in fun and it keeps the lifestyle interesting! The holidays are fast approaching! Our lifestyle jewelry makes the perfect gift for all of your lifestyle friends! Check out our new upside down pineapple charm and more here: www.PartnersID.com

My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for many years. We strictly play with other couples. Personally, I am not interested in single play and he shows no real interest in watching me play with single men or women. He likes to be involved and so we happily play with other couples. As an observer, single men look to have a difficult time in the lifestyle. In swing clubs, they roam around the front of the club trying to keep themselves busy. Many linger at the bar trying to meet couples while others do laps around the club in the hopes of initiating conversation along the way. From where I sit, the majority are unsuccessful and I genuinely sympathize with them. Then, last night, I spotted a single guy standing by the dance floor. It was hard not to notice him. What made this man stand out? Although I will admit he was good looking, so were many other single men in the club that evening. Here is the difference: He was clean and well dressed. Although he was alone, he did not appear lonely. The man was watching the dance floor, listening and moving slowly to the beat of the music. This man was a gentleman. Several women approached him. He was kind and warm without seeming eager or desperate. I never saw him gawk at any woman, he seemed confident, yet approachable. When people came close to him he smiled easily and nodded hello. He was not cocky, he kept his clothing on and buttoned, and engaged with others in a cool and respectful manner. These seem like simple and normal ways to behave, yet honestly, single men in the lifestyle rarely attract my attention, and if they do, it is for the wrong reasons. It is clear to me that successful single men in the lifestyle are doing something right. They all have recipes that keep them in good graces with both the other men and women in the lifestyle. Besides being well dressed and groomed, they are kind, considerate and careful never to step on anyone’s toes. Often, the single men we know will greet us warmly, and move on. In the past they have shown interest in me but I never lead people on. The difference between these men and others, is that they could read my nonverbal cues. Although I am warm and friendly, I do not show them any real interest and they pick up on this. On the other hand, some single men who approach us who do not know me, mistake my kindness for interest. I am always careful to let them know right away that we are not looking for single men. Not every couple (or single woman) in the club is looking for a single man. The first thing single men must master, is how to read people. Non-verbal cues are critically important in the lifestyle. If you approach someone and they warmly welcome you in, that’s a good start! When you approach someone and they are simply being polite but show a definite lack of interest, move on. You will not change anyone’s mind by being persistent. What do positive verbal cues look like? When a person has interest, they will turn towards you when they speak. They will look you in the eye. Interested people will ask you questions about yourself and smile warmly at your replies. Women who grab their husbands (or partners) by the hand or move closer to their partner is not interested. If they look away while you speak, this clearly indicates a lack of interest. Like when dating, pick up lines are corny and generally will not ingratiate you to anyone. The same goes for asking a ridiculous question, simply to start a conversation. It’s lame when men approach me at the bar and ask if this is where they go to get a drink. After too many tequilas, I might recommend the toilet in the nearest restroom… When a couple does show interest, how you manage the situation at a this point is very important. Pawing at the woman and excluding her man is not going to help you. Try establishing a warm connection with the man and seeing if he encourages you to move closer to his woman. When couples are looking for a single man, they will make it clear. Often, the husband will excuse himself to go to the restroom. That’s a good sign. He is giving you time to be alone with his wife. Be respectful and follow her lead. If you are fortunate enough to get into a play situation with a couple, make sure you pay attention the man. His demeanor will let you know what he is comfortable with. Again, if he walks away, that could indicate you will be free to play with his wife and perhaps he simply wants to watch. If he sticks close to his wife, it might be best to follow his lead or simply ask them to clarify what exactly they want. I might not seek out single men in a swing club, but the respectful ones always catch my eye. If we have a private party, we often do include single men so you never know. Single friends of mine often ask if we know any single men in the lifestyle. The ones that ingratiate themselves are easy to introduce to friends. Single men are an asset to the lifestyle. Many of them are kind and funny and genuinely good guys. It might be helpful for the less successful ones to take the time to observe the men who are getting it right. Wearing swinger symbol jewelry is really simple way to find others swingers. It also makes a great holiday gift or stocking stuffer! Shop here: www.PartnersID.com

You’ve heard the old saying that opposites attract. The quiet girls are attracted to the wild boys, the neat ones seem to attract the messy, etc. For the sake of this blog, let’s talk about the real question: If opposites attract, are people who love sex drawn to those who don’t? This seems highly unlikely, yet this seems to be a common problem between married couples. So now the question is: can a highly sexual person remain committed to a person with a low libido? We all know when we enter into a relationship, that compromises will be necessary. When you are infatuated with someone, you want to make them happy. It is so effortless at the beginning when passions are flying high. It seems normal to have a high sexual appetite at this point in any relationship. The problem is, how do you know what is ahead? Is this person having sex this often because, like you, they love sex, or are they just trying to make you happy? Are we simply ignoring the signs or are we being mislead? Personally, I think the signs are apparent right from the beginning but many people choose to ignore them. Several people I know are currently getting divorced. Guess what? All four of them are unhappy for the same reason: sex. For my highly sexual friends, there is not enough sex. On the other hand, for the low libido friends, they are sick of sex being an issue. I knew both couples prior to their marriages and neither divorce comes as a shock to me. The funny thing is, if these two couples simply switched partners, it would be perfect! Obviously I will not suggest this to either couple. What happens when couples find themselves at this impasse? Upon learning of these couples deciding to divorce, I began to consider how important sex is in a marriage. Apparently, it’s very important. When one person is constantly wanting sex while the other is never interested, how can it work? My opinion is, it can’t. If you think about it, neither person is happy. The higher sexed person feels deprived and the lesser sexual person feels obligated or simply annoyed. What’s the result? Neither person is happy, and this is understandable. Perhaps this is one of the reasons that some couples seek out the lifestyle. It allows the partner with the higher libido to satisfy his/her needs and their partner is not being lied to or cheated on. What if couples simply ignore the problem and hope it will go away? For couples who try to remain monogamous, this can lead to problems. This is possibly one of the biggest reasons for infidelity. The higher sexed partner is frustrated and looks for an outlet. The unfortunate part about this is that it is not about looking for love. It is strictly about looking for a partner with whom to have sex. Of course when the spouse finds out, the marriage is often terminated. So what’s the take away? Many couples are not sexually compatible but sex is really an important part of any long term relationship. If both partners have a diminished interest in sex, or both have high libidos, it is not an issue. It is when a couple finds that they are not on the same page sexually, that a compromise must be reached. This is where, once again, communication is key. The person with the higher sexual appetite might feel rejected and this can lead to friction between a couple. What are their options if they want address the problem? They can agree to meet each other sexually somewhere in the middle, give the lifestyle a try, remain unhappy, or they can separate. While sex is not vital to every relationship, it becomes crucial when one person desires it. It becomes a problem when this person is not getting it. We can sugar coat sex all we want, but the truth is, it can make or break a relationship. Looking for others swingers? Try wearing our lifestyle jewelry. It is the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world! Find it here: www.PartnersID.com

I will be honest, swinging has not always been easy for my husband and me.. When we first started the lifestyle together, I saw my husband as my shiny new toy. We had not been together long and I did not feel ready to share him. Neither of us was new to the lifestyle but we were a new couple. He seemed confused by my reaction to swinging, but agreed to take it step by step. For those hoping to get their partners into the lifestyle, this first paragraph is important. As a couple, we compromised. I agreed to be in the lifestyle and he agreed to allow me the time to sort it out. There was never any pressure to do anything I was not comfortable with, and if I felt him pushing, I let him know that I did not appreciate it. Lucky for us both, he understood that if I was not happy, I would back out of the lifestyle completely. This was not a power struggle, it was simply a husband listening to how his wife was feeling. I never played games and I often tried to push myself out of my comfort zone to make him happy. This phase lasted about two years. While we did go to swing clubs and parties, we mostly socialized with others and then played alone. At times I could sense his frustration, but he never made me feel bad. We were approached often with offers to join others but I simply was not ready. What resulted from this time was that our relationship solidified. He taught me about trust. That even if everything was not going the way he had imagined, he was by my side. My husband put me first and it was a very powerful aphrodisiac. He took the time to tell me over and over how sex and love were not intertwined. Sex with other women was a physical act, not an expression of love. Love was something he would never share with another woman, that was reserved strictly for me. When I finally felt ready to swing, I felt him by my side before, during and after each encounter. He was careful to be attentive to me even when he was playing with someone else. A simple touch of his hand let me know that he was still thinking about me, even when he was playing with someone else. At times, he would lean over and kiss me, searching my face for clues that everything was good for me. If he sensed that I was uncomfortable, he would ask if I would like to go with him to pick up some water. Although I never walked away from a couple while we were playing, his constant connection with me meant everything. He didn’t just tell me loved me more than swinging, he showed me. Each time we played with another couple, we talked about the experience and how it made me feel. I soon realized that I wanted to know the same from him. Listening to what he was feeling and experiencing was important to me. It soon became clear to me that I had cleared the hurdle. Swinging was becoming what it was supposed to be for a couple. Light and fun, but nothing more than that. Over time I have become more independent in the lifestyle. Swinging is a big part of our lives and I love it! Knowing that my husband has my back has given me the confidence in both him and me. So often I hear people asking how they can get their partner into the lifestyle. This is exactly the way to bring a partner into the lifestyle. With love, patience and understanding. No pushing or losing patience when the person is not ready to take the next step. Two years might sound like a long time, but I have no doubt that my husband has no regrets. Today, we are exactly where he imagined us to be when we married. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. Without it, nothing is possible. With it, anything is… Looking to swing? Try wearing our lifestyle jewelry with the swinger symbol that is recognized around the world. Stop wondering, start playing! Find it here: www.PartnersID.com

I stumbled upon an article the other day which was talking about the number of sexual partners people have had over the course of their lifetime, and what it says about them. https://onlinedoctor.superdrug.com/whats-your-number/ The article is actually quite interesting and at the same time a bit alarming. As a swinger, reading that the general population thinks that the ideal number of past sexual partners for both men and women is 7, concerns me. 7?! Seriously?! I may or may not have had sex with 7 different people in one night! Ok, I have. Don’t judge me! (Lol, nobody in the lifestyle will.) My immediate reaction to the notion that a new man in my life would want to hear that I have only slept with 7 men prior to him, was feeling a bit nauseous. I slept with 7 guys before I turned 20. What does this mean? I was (and still am) a total slut? Probably, but lucky for me, my husband appreciates the fact that I love sex as much as he does. I don’t think anyone would be surprised to learn that both men and women tended to change their true numbers slightly (at their own admission). Men tended to say they have had sex with more women than they actually have, while women tended to say they have had sex with less partners than they have. It is a surprise to me that people are still so antiquated in their thinking. Men want to be with women who love sex, but they don’t want to be with women who have been too sexually active or who are too experienced. Perhaps because I have been married for a long time I have lost touch with single stigmas, but come on people! People in their 50s, 60s and 70s are part of the baby boomer population. They believe in sex, drugs and rock and roll, don’t they? This generation was having sex, and a lot of it, back in the 60s and 70s. You mean to tell me they were part of this survey? I think not. I also would have imagined that we were no longer holding women to a different standard than men. We still think men are studs when they have many conquests while women remain sluts for doing the same. We pat men on the back for their accomplishments in bed while we shake our heads in disdain at the women with whom they are doing this. Every time I think we’ve come a long way (baby) I discover that perhaps we really have not. Even the terms we use to describe sexually adventurous women versus men have remained unchanged. One degrades the woman, while the other praises the man. According to Wikipedia, the term slut is as follows: Slut is generally a term for a woman or girl who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous.[1][2] It is usually used as an insult, sexual slur or offensive term of disparagement (slut shaming).[2][3] It originally meant "a dirty, slovenly woman",[2] and is rarely used to refer to men, generally requiring clarification by use of the terms male slut or man whore. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slut Today, the term slut has a pervasive presence in popular culture and pornography, but is almost exclusively used to describe women. An exact male equivalent of the term does not exist. The lack of a comparably popular term for men highlights the double standard in societal expectations (gender roles) between males and females, as negative terms for sexually promiscuous males are rare.[5][14] This is one of the reasons why swinging and the lifestyle are such wonderful outlets. Nobody is judging anyone within the lifestyle. If you love sex, good for you! Curious to try something new? This is the place! Judge free zone! Everyone is free to explore their fantasies. In all of the years that I have been in the lifestyle, I have never heard anyone put a woman down for sleeping with too many men. This includes the women who like gang bangs and trains. Most people just shrug their shoulders and say whatever she’s into to; glad she’s having fun. For swingers, the standards set by the general population do not apply. Men in the lifestyle are not really interested in women who do not like sex. People are in the lifestyle for this purpose! Sexually open and adventurous women are the norm. Men seem drawn to the women who exude sex as they are certain that it will prove to be an enjoyable experience. As far as asking about or caring about how many sexual partners someone has had? I’ve never heard anyone discuss this within the confines of the lifestyle. Truth is, most people would probably laugh and say, “I have no idea, I lost count!” It fascinates me that men who are not in the lifestyle prefer women who have slept with (at most) 7 partners. They feel that more than that signifies a promiscuous woman. What the survey did not discuss was a woman’s age. What if she’s 50 and has never been married? I hope these men are open to the thought that their partner likes to masturbate. Or, open to the notion that his partner does not like sex. Either way, how do you put a number on something like this? More importantly who are they to judge? Women also think the magic number of previous partners for men is 7. For a man who is 25, I can see how this number is probably fair game. If the man is 40, I’m not so sure. Honestly, the number 7 made me laugh out loud when I heard it. Most swingers who spend every weekend in a lifestyle venue would agree that they have sex with at least 7 people each year, if not way more than that. Does this make all the women in the lifestyle a bunch of sluts? Probably to those who are not in the lifestyle. What about the men? I imagine they would simply call the men in the lifestyle “lucky”. For those who are in the lifestyle, I sincerely doubt they care. They are usually both very happy in their relationship with their significant other and with their decision to swing. I suppose if any of us find ourselves single and being asked our “number,” we have two choices: lie or look for another swinger! Looking for other swingers? Wearing our jewelry is the easiest way for others to spot you! www.PartnersID.com

Social media has become a way of life for most people. We have email, instant messaging and text at our finger tips. When we wanted to communicate in the past, we picked up a phone and called someone. Now it has become much easier and more popular to just shoot a message to someone. With this surge in use of nonverbal communication has come some problems. When we speak in person with someone, they can hear our intonations as we speak. They can hear our excitement, our anger, if we pause they can rethink what they said and try to explain on the spot, etc. When we read a message, at times, we can misinterpret what they writer is trying to convey to us. How does this affect swingers looking for other swingers? Simply put, when a couple is attempting to communicate with another couple and they rely on a messaging platform, things they write can be misconstrued. It becomes especially touchy when these couples have never met. Sometimes a person has a sense of humor that will come across in their messages. If you don’t know that this person is sarcastic, for example, you might misinterpret them as being arrogant. A person who is shy might come across as being disinterested. Perhaps one couple is very busy and so there can be a long delay between messages. If english is the person’s second language, their writing might be seen as a lack of intelligence or education. In any case, the couples might decide against meeting each other for reasons that are not valid. The other problem that is rampant is many couples disregard for the truth. The number one complaint seems to be the outdated photos that many couples choose to post. Regardless of how attractive and fit you were ten years ago, that no longer represents what you look like today. If you are afraid that people will not be attracted by your current photos, this is not a reason to post old ones. After all, you will eventually meet in person and the first thing they will notice, is that you do not look like your pictures. Many people say that they do this because although people might not like their pictures, they are sure they can win them over if they meet in person. The truth is, it does not work like this. We have heard many couples talk about how when they spotted the couple they had arranged to meet and realized they did not look like their photos, they turned around and left. The other problems with swinger profiles is lying about age and not being truthful about what you are looking for. If you do not have experience or are not totally comfortable with swapping, be honest. At some point, all of your lies will become apparent to the couples that you meet and then it is awkward for everyone. Don’t shave 10 years off of your age and then be surprised when the couple who agrees to meet you is not interested. Don’t expect another couple to “take it slow” if you have written that you are full swap and have tons of experience. Honesty goes a long way in making encounters successful and enjoyable. You will find couples to match with if you let them know who you really are. Facetime and Skype have given us the ability to chat live and perhaps this is the best way to be sure that the couple in the pictures look the same in person. This also allows you to speak in “real time” and avoid the problems that messaging can cause. Let’s not forget that in some areas, people have to travel quite a distance to meet each other. Areas that do not have a swing club or any type of meet and greet tend to be remote. This causes them to be dependent upon messaging. When messaging with other couples just remember how many times your chats with family and friends have been misunderstood. Not because of what you wrote necessarily, but rather the way the reader interpreted what you meant to say or how you meant to say it. Give people the benefit of the doubt and always try to connect either by video chat or on the phone. This allows you the comfort of hearing what someone is saying and how they are saying it.

We live in the country (some people would say rural America, we don’t really use that term here). My husband and I grew up here and love it but we don’t really have anything to compare it to. It can be a little bit lonely, but I will say that over the years it is more populated than it was when I was a kid. Where I grew up, our closest neighbor was 30 minutes away. The problem with living 15 minutes (like I said, more populated) from your neighbor is that you don’t really get to see many people on a regular basis. My husband works in agriculture so most days he’s out working on our property. I have a small craft business that I just started. Thankful for the internet! Anyway, I will admit that often times my husband and I wondered what it would be like to have a threesome. I get turned on by the thought of being with my husband and another man. My husband, by the thought of myself and another woman. However, we never imagined how we would ever be able to find people! We have a small group of friends that we get together with most weekends. One of the couples in the group is very attractive. My husband and I have talked about how if we were going to swing with anyone, they would be our first choice! The problem was how to go about discussing this with them. That’s where you come in. I went online to try to figure out how to find other swingers and what to say, etc. I read many of your blogs, which had some very helpful information. I also read about the jewelry, and why it would help. I showed it to my husband and we decided to buy a piece for each of us to wear. Not long after we received the jewelry, we made plans to meet up with our friends at a bar to watch baseball. We got dressed and put on our jewelry. We went to the bar and had an awesome time with our friends. The next day our attractive friends called us and invited us to their home for a barbecue. We have been to their home before so it didn’t seem strange. The only thing for us that was little bit weird was that we don’t usually see them more than once each week (at the most). We drove out to their home and were looking forward to an afternoon of relaxing and watching more baseball. They were wonderful hosts and made sure we had plenty to eat and drink. We settled in to watch the baseball game on their sofa. After a few minutes, the wife started to touch my leg. I was pretty buzzed but very shocked at the same time. I looked at her to try to figure out what she was thinking and then she kissed me. I had my first girl on girl experience that night and it was incredible. At some point the guys joined in and it was just a big orgy with the four of us. Nothing short of amazing. Afterwards my husband asked what made them think we’d be open to that. They laughed and said they saw the jewelry and they knew it because they had been swinging for a while and had seen it on others. They told us they had tried to figure out if we would be open to swinging before that, but didn’t want to out themselves by asking us. If we weren’t wearing the jewelry, this would never have happened! Turns out, there is a group of swingers that they get together with once a month. We have joined the group a few times and it has been incredible! We discovered that several of the couples already have the jewelry. Two of the couples met because of the jewelry. Thanks, without it, we’d still be fantasizing! This is way better! Lanie and Travis R.

Life is short, life is precious, life is a gift. We have all heard this many times before. It is something we often say or think about when we hear of someone dying. Whether the person was sick or it was a sudden event, it makes us promise to live life to the fullest because we never know what the future holds. This seems especially true given today’s climate. What exactly is living life to the fullest? In my opinion, it means living without regrets. It means doing the things that make us happy. Nobody wants to find themselves at the end of their life wishing they had done something but were too afraid. It would seem at that point you would wonder what, exactly, you were afraid of. This makes me think of the lifestyle and our decision to see what it was all about. When we pushed the door open to a swing club for the very first time, we had no idea what lay on the other side. In our minds it was simply to be one evening to placate our curiosity. It would be one more thing to cross off our bucket list. Something that we could say we were proud to have done in our lives because it was outside of our comfort zone. Even if our first night at a swing club had not been enjoyable (or even positive), I do believe we would have no regrets. The fact that we had taken the risk to try something different would be a positive in our memory banks. It might even give us something to laugh about if things went awry. That, however, did not happen. It turned out that in our quest to remember to live life to the fullest, we found something wonderful. Behind the doors to that first swing club was nothing we had prepared ourselves for. What had started out as an evening of fun, turned into a completely new lifestyle! What we discovered that first night in a swing club is that once you cross the threshold, you belong. Everyone is welcome in the lifestyle. People do not discriminate against others. There is no concern with race, religion, sexual orientation, age, etc. If you are friendly, people in the lifestyle will accept you. The lifestyle has taught us so much about living life to the fullest. People in the lifestyle are looking for fun. Many couples we have met, have raised their family and are ready to focus on themselves. An afternoon or an evening spent with lifestyle friends is always sure to be a party. It is a group of people who are looking to enjoy their lives. The lifestyle attracts a variety of people who come from different backgrounds, cultures and races. What brings these people together is their desire to have a good time. Every night in a swing club is like New Year’s Eve; it is festive and upbeat. The lifestyle has taught us about commitment and communication. It gave me clarity about the difference between love and sex and how the two are not mutually exclusive. It teaches you that simply because you find someone attractive or charming, it does not mean you want to spend your life with them. The same applies to your partner. It is ok for them to find another person attractive. Even if they have great sex together, it does not mean they want anything more. You have fun, say goodbye and go home with your partner to your life. Having the opportunity to explore both your sexuality and your fantasies is very liberating. When you share this with your partner there is no reason to cheat. When you have everything you want at home, why would you seek it elsewhere? Obviously this is not all that is on my bucket list but it is something for which I will be forever grateful. For us, this is living life to its fullest. Spending every free night at dinner or a movie was not something that either of us really enjoyed. Rather than becoming complacent and discontent, we did something about it. The lifestyle is not for everyone but if you don’t try it, how will you know?

We often hear people in the lifestyle say that over time their relationships with their vanilla friends have faded. People who were close friends for years have slowly moved away from them. Why does this happen? Is it because our vanilla friends eventually discover what swingers are up to? Perhaps it is because couples in the lifestyle change over time. My husband and I were having dinner with vanilla friends when a woman we have not seen in years walked by. She stopped, said hello, and continued on her way. At first, my husband did not recognize her. Without thinking, I mentioned that she was “that friendly unicorn that we used to see often.” Before I could finish my sentence and say at the club, I realized who we were with and I stopped. All three of them were staring at me. My husband, because he was afraid of what I was about to say, and my friends because they were curious. “Did you say unicorn?” My friend gave me a funny look. I wanted to pretend I had just suffered a small stroke and say I couldn’t imagine why I would have said that, but that seemed too dramatic. Another idea was to say a word that sounds like unicorn but honestly, nothing came to mind. So there I was, my mind racing to think of something to say to make this seem ok. Finally, I just shrugged and said something about how she told us her daughter was into unicorns and it stuck. Do I think my friend believed me? Not a chance but that was my story and I was sticking with it. We have all been there; having a perfectly acceptable evening with vanilla friends when you drop the h-bomb. Or the u-word or that c word. You know which ones I’m referring to: hotwife, unicorn, cuckold. Yea, those words. We use these words all the time with our lifestyle friends and we never think twice about it. It does however become a problem when you use them with vanilla friends. It was in the car after dinner that I told my husband how exhausting spending too much time with vanilla friends had become. Having to think about every single thing before I say it was no longer simply challenging, it was getting on my nerves. How is it possible that we consider these people such close friends when they know so little about us? Before the pandemic, we were too busy with lifestyle parties, swing clubs and meet and greets to see our vanilla friends. On occasion we would ask to meet for dinner during the week, but they seemed offended that it was never on a weekend. Now that our weekends were free again, we did reach out to some vanilla friends that we had not seen in a while. The time we spent was enjoyable but we were guarded. They asked a lot of questions and sadly, we had prepared answers ahead of time, knowing what those questions would be. As we left the restaurant, we both felt the strain of having to think about what they might ask ahead of time. It made the evening less enjoyable because it was difficult to relax and be natural. Is this what a night out with ‘friends’ should feel like? When swingers spend a lot of time with other swingers, we learn to let down our guard. We easily discuss sex and other topics that vanilla people find too personal to share. It is this lack of transparency that creates a barrier in the friendship. Lifestyle friendships become so intimate and deep that our vanilla relationships begin to feel shallow and forced. Although it is certainly possible to maintain vanilla friendships when you are in the lifestyle, many couples admit these relationships tend to fade away. Once you experience the lifestyle and the friendships you make there, it is very hard to go back.