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Swinging used to be much simpler for new couples. Before the advent of the internet, those interested in exploring the swinging lifestyle relied on magazine ads or word of mouth. Swing clubs were practically the only places to connect with other swingers, while meet-and-greets and private parties were hard to come by and rarely advertised. If you wanted to dip your toes into the world of swinging, a swing club was the place to go. Fast forward to today, and the landscape has changed dramatically. With the internet, swinger dating sites, club listings, personal ads on platforms like Craigslist, lifestyle resorts, and casual meet-and-greets are now just a click away. Unfortunately, this abundance of options doesn’t necessarily make it easier for newcomers to start their swinging journey. Every blog seems to offer conflicting advice: some tout online dating sites as the best option, while others warn against them. Some recommend visiting a swingers resort, while others caution that it may not be the best introduction. Every swinger was once a newcomer—often referred to as a “newbie.” I recall my first experience at a swing club, which felt reminiscent of high school. After a manager gave us a tour, we were left alone, feeling like we were one entity in a sea of couples who all appeared to know each other. There were cliques, and we couldn’t help but wonder how we could connect with them, as it felt like we didn’t belong. After assessing our surroundings and downing a few shots for courage, we finally decided to hit the dance floor. To our surprise, people smiled and welcomed us; one couple even approached us to ask if we were new. Was it that obvious? They introduced themselves, and soon their friends joined in the conversation. For our first night, we simply observed the crowd before heading home early. However, a few weeks later, we decided to give it another shot. Armed with more knowledge about what to wear and what to expect, we felt more confident. This time, we arrived early when the club was quieter. After ordering drinks at the bar, we noticed a couple on a couch and asked to join them. They welcomed us warmly, and before we knew it, we had met around ten other couples. This experience demonstrated how easy it can be for newbies to connect in a swing club. Many of the couples we met were regulars, providing us with a sense of familiarity for our next visit. The swing club allowed us to explore the lifestyle at our own pace, free from pressure to step outside our comfort zones. Some bloggers argue that meet-and-greet events are not appealing, as they attract regular swingers who already know one another. I wholeheartedly disagree. Most swingers attend these events specifically to meet new people. If they weren’t interested in networking, they could simply hang out at a club with their usual crowd. Meet-and-greets provide welcoming opportunities for newcomers to connect. Some seasoned swingers may prefer to invite couples over privately, which can be both good and bad. It’s essential to communicate your comfort level and experience openly: while experienced couples can guide you through the process, they might also expect you to progress faster than you’re ready for. Lifestyle expos and resorts can be thrilling but might be overwhelming for newcomers. These venues primarily cater to seasoned swingers looking to maximize their enjoyment over a limited time frame. At the last expo we attended, we arrived only a few hours after it began, and many couples were already fully in the swing of things—literally. It would have been quite intimidating had we been new to the lifestyle. Swinger cruises are another popular choice for those already immersed in swinging. However, they might not be the best starting point for beginners. Once you’re on a cruise, it’s not easy to leave if you feel uncomfortable. While you don’t have to participate in swinging, most attendees are there for that very reason. Many newcomers might think that attending a private party would provide an easy way to meet other swingers because of the smaller setting. While that’s partially true, private parties usually consist of experienced swingers who assume anyone present is ready to play. If that’s not your intention, it might be better to wait for a more casual environment. Finally, while swinger dating sites have their merits, they can be challenging for newcomers. Navigating profiles, outdated photos, and misleading information can lead to frustrating encounters with couples who flake on commitments. New swingers may take these disappointments personally, while seasoned veterans understand the realities of online dating in this community. For these reasons, I recommend that new swingers start with a meet-and-greet. If you’re lucky, you might find another new couple who can join you on your first trip to a swing club. Additionally, some swing clubs hold their own meet-and-greets, mixing newcomers with regulars, creating a comfortable space to observe the lifestyle without pressure. You can participate as much or as little as you like. Looking for any easy way to spot others in the lifestyle? Try our lifestyle jewelry! It has sold in over 38 countries! Find it here: www.PartnersID.com

This blog was written for Partners ID by Sam, a single woman in the lifestyle. Partners ID is owned by a close friend of mine. This woman recently asked my reasons for becoming a unicorn in the swinger lifestyle. She felt it would be helpful for others if an actual unicorn shared her reasons for entering the lifestyle as a single woman. For those unfamiliar, a "unicorn" is a single woman who engages with couples in the lifestyle. Writing that piece helped clarify that not every unicorn is out to steal someone’s husband; in fact, most of us have very different motivations. Swingers tend to keep their lifestyle discreet, and navigating both the lifestyle and the vanilla world can be challenging. Imagine trying to explain what it means to be a unicorn to someone who’s never heard of it! Recently, I found myself in an awkward situation at work. While taking notes in a boardroom for an important client, I received an email that seemed to be from a close friend. Without checking the sender’s full email address, I opened it during a break. To my shock, the email contained an explicit photo—a close-up of a man’s genitals. Before I could delete it, a male coworker spotted the image and jokingly asked if it was my new boyfriend. I lead a double life. By day, I’m involved in a completely vanilla job, with meetings, client lunches, and all the usual professional responsibilities. But when the weekend arrives, my life takes a different turn. I am a unicorn in the swinger lifestyle. When I first entered the lifestyle, I wasn’t alone. My boyfriend and I were regulars at our local swing club, spending at least two nights a week there. I was deeply in love with him, so when he ended our relationship abruptly, it left me heartbroken. But I didn’t become jaded or resentful toward men. Instead, I became cautious, hesitant to open my heart again. When I was finally ready to return to the lifestyle, I went back to the place where I had felt most comfortable—the swing club. We had built a tight-knit circle of lifestyle friends, many of whom reached out to me after the breakup. The first night I went back alone was nerve-wracking. I wasn’t sure how the women would react to a single woman in their midst. Although I had no intention of interfering with anyone’s relationship, I knew how some women viewed unicorns with suspicion. To my relief, most of the women welcomed me back with open arms, though a few seemed uneasy with the attention I received from the men. This wasn’t something I sought out, but as most unicorns will tell you, it’s hard to avoid. Those first few visits were awkward. I needed reassurance that I belonged there. Gradually, couples—some familiar, some new—began inviting me to join them in the back room. Soon, I received invitations to private parties, and men even asked me to accompany them to the club when their wives were out of town. Although I declined those offers, not wanting to cross any boundaries, it was clear that people were unsure about my intentions. So, what was I really looking for? The answer is simple: I love to dance, dress sexy, and have fun. I enjoy meeting new people and having sex—sometimes with men, sometimes with women. The lifestyle provides a safe, welcoming environment where I can do all of this without needing a date or making plans with others. I can have an amazing night, share great sex, and then go home alone, free of any obligations. I can stay out until midnight or until 4 a.m.—it’s all up to me. If I’m in the mood for one-on-one time, there’s always a single guy eager to spend the evening with a unicorn. But the beauty of the swing club is that I’m never in a scary situation with a stranger. If I want to be with a couple, I can. If I want to experience a gang bang, that’s my choice. The best part? I leave alone. I’m not seeking a boyfriend, husband, or anything more than a good time. That’s it, plain and simple. Of course, every unicorn is different. Some are content to play with married men, even when their wives aren’t present. I, however, have my own set of rules. I will only play with someone’s husband if she is present, and I prefer it to be a threesome. I won’t date a married man, with or without his wife’s permission. Unicorns can add a lot to the lifestyle, but only if they respect the boundaries of others. It’s important to remember that while we might receive a lot of attention, we’re just another component of the lifestyle. The lifestyle existed before us, and it would continue without us. Interestingly, no one ever asks what single men are looking for in the club—why the double standard? People often assume unicorns are after something more, but the truth is, I’m just looking for sex, the same as everyone else. I prefer the no-strings-attached variety. I don’t want a morning-after call, and I’m usually not interested in a repeat performance, no matter how great it was. I don’t need you to cuddle me or tell me I’m beautiful. I’m just here to enjoy my night out. I understand that my openness can be intimidating to some women, but that doesn’t make me a slut or a whore. When I was in a relationship, I didn’t feel as free to explore as I do now. Perhaps that’s why it’s hard for some to relate, but it doesn’t give anyone the right to judge. People often ask why I’m not out looking for someone of my own. It’s a valid question, but the truth is, I’m enjoying being on my own. When I’m ready for a relationship, I assure you, I won’t be looking for someone in a swing club. Maybe I’ll meet a nice single guy at a lifestyle event someday, but who knows? For now, I’m very happy being a unicorn, and I have no plans to change that anytime soon. For those of you who are looking to meet others in the lifestyle you should be wearing lifestyle jewelry! I have met many people who spotted my jewelry! You can see it here: https://swingersjewelry.etsy.com

This past weekend, my husband and I found ourselves nestled in a small corner of a mattress in the back room of a swing club. Not because the couples surrounding us piqued our interest, but simply because it was the only available spot we could find. I couldn’t help but wonder if the back room could be any more crowded. Couples were everywhere, utilizing every inch of available space. Many chose to play standing up, with a few occasionally backing into an emergency exit and inadvertently setting off the fire alarm. Interestingly, that Saturday was not a special night at the club. SDC, Kasidie, and SLS events tend to draw large crowds, but they were absent. It wasn’t New Year’s or Halloween; it was just another Saturday night at Trapeze in Fort Lauderdale. It felt ironic to me because, on that same day, I stumbled upon an old Time Magazine article titled, “Why Are We All Having So Little Sex?” Clearly, the term "all" does not include swingers. We are not only having sex; it’s standing room only! Once again, swingers make a compelling case for consensual non-monogamy. The sex that swingers are enjoying is far from mundane or routine. It’s not an obligation or a waiting game to see who initiates. Swingers actively seek out excitement, creating an atmosphere where sex is like dessert. People come to enjoy dinner, have drinks, dance, and finally make their way to the play area. One key aspect of swing clubs is that sex is not confined to home. It’s akin to checking into a hotel. Even couples who have fallen into a rut at home often find themselves more inclined to be intimate in a hotel. The change of scenery and absence of distractions (especially kids) can reignite the flame. Couples typically put in extra effort to get ready: women dress to impress, and men strive to look their best. The whole process of preparing to go out adds to the allure. At a swing club, sex is on the menu. You can partake if you choose; if not, that’s perfectly fine too. The temptation, much like chocolate cake, lies in its availability. Behind closed doors, an oasis of naked bodies is eager for fun. Whether you opt for a little taste or indulge fully, the point remains—swingers haven’t let the ball drop on a vital aspect of their relationships and overall well-being. Sex is beneficial; it serves as exercise with no calories or chemicals, and it can’t be experienced through a smartphone or computer. It offers good old-fashioned face-to-face intimacy with another person. You won’t hear couples in a swing club debating whether or not they feel like having sex that night. Instead, conversations often revolve around whom they’d like to play with. One issue plaguing long-term relationships isn’t merely the routine of sex, but often a lack of desire exhibited by one’s partner. In the early stages of many relationships, the air is thick with lust; you can’t get enough of each other, and sex becomes a thrilling constant. Often, when couples move in together, that insatiable desire often diminishes. Though we try everything to keep the flame alive, life tends to intervene, and our partners don’t always see us at our best. New experiences in the bedroom can only go so far; eventually, novelty fades, and the excitement diminishes, even in loving partnerships. This is where swingers have it figured out. By swapping partners, everyone wins. Each person gets to experience something new and exciting. Dressed to impress, swingers hope to attract someone new, and in the process, their partners see them in a fresh light as well. I recall the first night my husband and I ventured into a swing club. He looked incredible, and I wore something sexier than I had in years. We barely made it to the club, our hands already exploring each other in the car. When couples step outside their routine and engage in something new to reignite their sex lives, the outcomes can be pleasantly surprising. Couples don’t swing because they no longer love each other; rather, it's quite the opposite. They’re looking to rediscover that spark. Feeling beautiful, sexy, and desired is crucial for both men and women, and swinging offers a fantastic opportunity to rekindle those feelings. For many, the idea of swinging appears daunting. Fear often arises from the worry that a partner will find someone new. This common concern for novices isn’t typically realized when couples enter the lifestyle with the right intentions. The true issue lies with couples who have stopped having sex altogether. Even as we grow older and find ourselves in committed relationships, our human nature demands connection and intimacy. When couples who have ceased to engage in sex still seek validation regarding their attractiveness, it can lead to misunderstandings and inappropriate behavior, often culminating in infidelity. So, what’s the takeaway? It’s perfectly natural for sex to lose some excitement in long-term relationships, but it’s not acceptable to halt sexual activity entirely. Having an affair is also never the solution. When I read that article questioning why we have so little sex, I couldn’t help but exclaim, “Not me!” If you love your partner and are simply looking to spice things up between you two, swinging might be just what you need! Looking for swinger jewelry? We carry a full line of lifestyle jewelry! Find it here: www.Etsy.com/shop/swingersjewelry

When it comes to the swinging lifestyle, there's an unspoken truth that many couples can agree on: women often take the lead. This dynamic can significantly shape the experience in the lifestyle, influencing everything from the initial decision to participate to how couples interact within the community. While exceptions exist, they are few and far between. For men curious about introducing their partners to this exciting world, understanding these dynamics is essential. Much of the success in navigating the swinging lifestyle hinges on recognizing and respecting the unique perspectives and emotions of women involved. A common theme arises in swinger forums, with many men asking, “How can I get my wife to embrace the lifestyle?” Instead, they should consider: “What can I do to ensure she enjoys it once we’re there?” Getting your wife (or girlfriend) to agree to a night at a swing club might not be as challenging as you think. Simply expressing curiosity about the experience can prompt her to say yes. It's essential to reassure her that you’ll be by her side throughout the evening and that you’ll prioritize her comfort. Many women may be more open to the idea if they feel they have control over the experience. One of the most significant mistakes men often make is failing to prioritize their partner while at the club. The excitement of being in an environment filled with flirtatious, alluring women can be intoxicating, but the key to having a successful night lies in how you conduct yourself. Remember, your partner will be observing your every move. She’ll notice where your gaze lingers, listen to your conversations, and be acutely aware of how friendly you are with other women. Although she may not express her feelings in the moment, rest assured that her observations will resonate with her long after the night ends. Prepare yourself for candid feedback during the drive home, as she may share her true feelings once the club lights fade. Consider how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Imagine entering the club to find your partner flirtatious and engaging with other men while neglecting your presence. It’s easy to see that most men wouldn’t appreciate this any more than women do. The key is to remember that you are there as a couple. She is your spouse and the most significant person in the club; treat her as such. By prioritizing her feelings and making it clear that she is the most special woman in the venue, you’ll likely find it much easier to have an enjoyable experience together. While this approach may ensure a smooth first night and pave the way for future visits, maintaining this mindset is crucial as you continue exploring the lifestyle together. I’ve often overheard women expressing frustration about their partners being completely oblivious to their presence, chatting away with others while their partner is outside smoking, feeling neglected. No night can end well if she feels like an afterthought or second best. By investing time and effort into making her feel happy and confident, you create an atmosphere where she can genuinely enjoy lifestyle events. Most women desire reassurance that you’re thinking of them and that they are your number one choice. So, give it a try! Your efforts will not only enhance her experience but will also strengthen your bond as a couple navigating this exciting lifestyle together. Looking to meet other swingers? Try wearing our lifestyle jewelry. Makes it so easy! Find our collection here: www.PartnersID.com

Balancing the swinging lifestyle with the responsibilities of parenthood can feel like a high-wire act. When I first drafted this article, I humorously titled it “Swinging with Children,” but quickly realized that might invite the wrong kind of attention! So, let’s dive into the real topic: navigating the lifestyle when you have kids at home. Challenges with Young Children: Anyone who’s in the lifestyle and has children knows the juggling act it requires. When your children are young, the primary obstacle is usually childcare. Staying out until 2 or 3 in the morning means babysitters might start wondering where on earth you’re going. While grandparents are a lifesaver, even they have limits on how many sleepovers they can handle. Then there’s the challenge of coming home. After a night of fun, you might not look as put together as when you left. Wet hair, misbuttoned shirts, and inside-out clothes are just a few of the giveaways. Changing clothes in the car or garage becomes a necessity to avoid being caught in your "party" attire. Young children don’t care how late you were out—they’ll be up at the crack of dawn, ready to play. Despite these hurdles, handling young kids might be simpler than dealing with older ones. Challenges with Older Children: As your children grow older, the complexities increase. One significant challenge is where to hide your swinger clothes. A locked closet might seem secure, but kids have a knack for finding things. I remember my kids telling my mother about my collection of “hooker shoes,” even though they were in a locked closet with a hidden key. Sneaking out of the house with a change of clothing also becomes trickier. Trust me, your children will notice if you’re wearing something unusual under your sweater. I found that planning ahead is crucial. When the kids aren’t home, stash your outfit in the trunk of your car or hide it in the garage. Returning home with older kids can be a major hurdle. They never seem to sleep! No matter how late you come back, they’re often still awake, which means you need to change back into your original clothes and look presentable. Be prepared for the inevitable questions: “Where were you until this hour, and who were you with?” Frequent nights out can become suspicious, as teenagers know nothing stays open that late. Challenges with Adult Children: We often imagine that once our children are grown and out of the house, we’ll be able to enjoy the lifestyle without a care in the world. Unfortunately, adult children bring their own set of challenges. There’s always the possibility they could show up at a swing club or lifestyle event. Multiply that risk by the number of friends they have, and the chances of an awkward encounter increase. Additionally, they might expect you to babysit their children, but you’re rarely available. They might suggest you come by after your night out, not realizing you’ll be back around 3 AM. They also tend to ask for itineraries when you travel, which can be tricky if you’re headed to a lifestyle cruise or swinger resort. Eventually, they might borrow your phone and notice that all your friends have no last names or the same (code) last name. The bottom line: Navigating the swinging lifestyle with children, whether young, older, or even grown, presents unique challenges. Creativity and planning are essential. Make sure you and your spouse are on the same page with the stories you’ll tell, as consistency is crucial. Remember, your children are often smarter than you think. Embrace the fun and unpredictability—it keeps the lifestyle interesting! Are you looking for lifestyle jewerly? Look no further! PartnersID.com is the original lifestyle jewelry company!

Rejection is never pretty. Regardless of how we dress it up, rejection is still ugly. It is hurtful and often feels personal. For everyone in the lifestyle, this is something we must face at some point, either as the rejector or the rejectee. Let’s face it, this is normal. Everyone will not like everyone else, and we will not be attracted to everyone. The tricky part is letting people know we are not interested in a kind way. Swinging is a lot like dating. Swinging is a lot like dating except there are more people involved. Dating is fairly straightforward: one person must like one person. If this happens, the two will move forward. Swinging is much more complex. With each additional person thrown into the mix, finding a match becomes much more difficult. Every couple in the lifestyle will agree that couples finding couples can be complicated. Swingers often take to dating sites like SDC, Kasidie, Quiver, FriendFinder, SLS, etc., to find other swingers. They scan photos and read profiles in the hopes of finding attractive and like minded couples to meet. The process on swinger dating sites generally involves one couple picking out another and sending them an email expressing interest. The receiver of the email will open the profile of the sender and begin with their photos. If there is any spark of interest, they will read the profile. If the receiver of the email likes what they see, chances are they will respond to your email. What happens if the couple opens the email and has no interest? Many times they will simply delete the email and forget about it. Obviously you will realize they are not interested right? Many couples feel this is the easiest way to convey there is no interest. Some couples feel you owe some type of response to the people who sent the email. It would seem logical that no response means no interest. If you reply to the person, you must reject them in the email. How is that kinder? How do you reject someone without hurting their feelings? Is it possible to turn someone down without hurting their feelings? It seems that whatever you say will cause some pain. Often times couples say they simply reply: “We are not a match.” Surely the couple reading that email will take it personally, especially if their profiles seemed to align. This truly is the kindest possible response. No need to explain why, just a simple reply to let them know. Sometimes couples feel compelled to be honest Honesty is the best policy, right? Here I have to disagree. There is no need to explain that one of you is not attracted to the sender. No need to comment on their age, weight or other physical characteristic. There is never a reason to be cruel or hurtful. If you specified in your profile that you are looking for something specific that does not match the sender, then it is ok to point that out. Even in this case, there are ways to say things without being mean. What if you are not interested in a couple you meet in person? Rejecting couples in an email is not that hard. What happens when you are face to face with a couple and you have no interest? If this is a couple that approaches you in a club, it is easy to walk away. You make an excuse about going to the restroom or wanting to dance. When you do not return, that should be easy for them to understand. If they seek you out upon your return, letting them know that you would like to walk around and talk to other couples should hopefully be enough. If a couple is trying to join you while in a play area, usually simply not responding to their advances is enough to let them know. For the bolder couple who does not seem to pick up on non verbal cues, saying no thank you should send them on their way. The most complicated situation comes when you have agreed to meet in person after exchanging text messages or emails. It is probably a good idea to make your first meeting for a quick cup of coffee. If there is interest, you can always move to sharing a meal. If your date with another couple is over a meal, this can be more complicated. You and your partner should think about this beforehand and come up with a plan. A simple gesture that you agree upon will let each other know how you are feeling. If one of you wants out, the gesture will let your partner know. The plan should include a way to graciously end the date as soon as possible. This can be followed up with an email explaining that although you thought they were very nice, the chemistry was not there. What about the couples who simply won’t take no for an answer? Rejection is always hard because you know you are hurting someone. If the other couple is gracious, this makes it easy. When the other couple simply won’t take no for an answer, it can lead to a much uglier situation. We have found ourselves in situations where a simple no thank you has turned sour. In a case like this it is important to remember that it is not your problem, but theirs. While we chose to take the high road and be kind, there are couples who somehow feel entitled to your time and attention. Whether this occurs online or in person it can be frustrating. Blocking the couple online is a no brainer. In person, it becomes a bit more difficult. Avoiding them seems to be the only way around a future problem. If they hang out in the same club as you, chances are you are not alone in your dealings with them. Eventually these couples are isolated because of their behavior. Bottom line? At some point in time you will have to reject couples and couples will reject you. Do not take it personally, simply move on. Looking to find other swingers? Try wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry! Find it the jewelry here: https://swingersjewelry.etsy.com

Dear Partners ID, I often read forums and other blogs and articles about swinging. One of the many recurring questions seems to be about neighbors. Why are so many people wondering if their neighbors might be swingers? Even if they are, would it be advisable to approach them or to play with them? My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years. Before your jewelry came along, we also thought guessing who else were swingers was a fun game. We had suspicions about our neighbors and after a night of drinking, we decided to go for it. They were totally open to playing and after a few nights of fun, my wife and I thought that this was the perfect set up! We could invite them to our home and nobody even has to drive home! What we discovered was that neighbors make for bad playmates and that swinging is best done with people who are not a part of your daily life. Don’t misunderstand the concept. My neighbors were super sexy and we had some incredibly fun nights together. The problem was something else. The male neighbor did not know how to act around my wife or me after the first experience. He would make comments when we were in mixed company (even around our children), that were inappropriate and crude. My wife and I did try to discuss it with both him and his wife, but it was useless. Things got so bad, we had to move. Yes, we actually had to sell the family home and move away. This was difficult for our children and even for my job, but we had no choice. Trying to break off the relationship with the neighbors took a nasty turn and their recourse was to tell people that we are swingers. Long story short, we do not recommend ever even attempting to discover if your neighbors are swingers. If they are, good for them; if they are not, all the better. A note from Partners ID regarding this topic: Entering into a swinging relationship with a neighbor may seem alluring at first, especially if you are already on good terms with them and share a certain level of trust. However, there are several reasons why this might not be a good idea: Privacy Concerns: Swinging is a highly personal and private lifestyle choice. If things don't work out or feelings change, it can lead to awkward and uncomfortable situations, making it challenging to maintain privacy within your neighborhood. Impact on Neighborhood Relations: A swinging relationship with a neighbor could complicate the dynamics within the neighborhood. If word gets out or if someone finds out unintentionally, it may create tension or gossip among other neighbors, which could negatively impact your social life. Emotional Attachments: Swinging relationships often involve emotional connections, even if it's meant to be purely physical. Being intimate with someone you see frequently in a non-sexual context can blur the lines and lead to potential emotional complications. Jealousy and Insecurity: Swinging requires a high level of trust and open communication. Being intimate with a neighbor may trigger jealousy or insecurities in both parties, as it's difficult to separate emotions from physical connections. Boundaries and Consent: It can be challenging to establish and maintain clear boundaries with a neighbor in a swinging relationship. Misunderstandings and miscommunications might occur, potentially leading to conflicts. Impact on Home Life: Swinging involves setting aside dedicated time for such activities, and doing so with a neighbor might interfere with your everyday home life and create uncomfortable situations when you encounter them in non-swinger contexts. Unforeseen Consequences: If the swinging relationship does not work out as expected, there's a possibility that it could lead to resentment, awkwardness, or even the end of the friendship or neighborly relationship altogether. Exposing Private Life: Keeping a swinging lifestyle private becomes even more challenging when involved with a neighbor. The risk of exposure to friends, family, or other neighbors can lead to social consequences and judgments. Difficulty Disengaging: Ending a swinging relationship with a neighbor can be complicated. If you decide to end the arrangement, you'll still be living close to the person, potentially causing ongoing discomfort and emotional challenges. While the idea of swinging with a neighbor may have some initial appeal due to existing trust and familiarity, it is generally not recommended. Swinging requires clear communication, boundaries, and a high level of discretion to ensure that all parties involved have a positive and respectful experience. Mixing such an intimate lifestyle with a neighbor can complicate matters and potentially lead to unintended consequences that could negatively impact your personal life and neighborhood relations. Looking to swing? It's so easy to find other swingers when you know what to look for! Our lifestyle jewelry collection is known around the world. Find it here: www.Etsy.com/shop/swingersjewelry

When my wife bought me your black ring with the swinger symbol on it for my birthday, I thought it was a nice gift. I appreciated the thought and have always liked the design. To be honest, I did not think I would actually meet another swinger if I wore it. Last night we went to a new restaurant that opened not far from our home. As I was getting dressed, I slipped on the ring and my wife smiled. Nothing makes her happier than when I appreciate gifts she gives to me. The new restaurant was crowded so we got a few drinks from the bar and sat on a window sill to wait for a table. We were happy when our names were called and we were seated quickly. As we were getting ready to sit, I signaled the bar tender (who was very busy) that I was ready to pay my bill. He waved me away and so I assumed we would pay at the table. When the waitress approached, I told her we ordered drinks at the bar and wanted them added to our bill. A few minutes later the waitress returned and told us the bill was already paid. My wife and I looked at each other. The bartender must be mistaking us for someone else, I thought. Making my way back to the bar, I again asked the bartender for the bill. He leaned over and pointed to the couple at the end of the bar. Apparently, they had paid for our drinks. I was embarrassed because I did not recognize them but knew I had to thank them. As I approached the couple at the end of the bar they smiled as I came close to them. They introduced themselves and pointed to my ring. Both the man and the woman were wearing the same ring! I invited them to join us for dinner and they accepted. We had such a fun time that night. I don’t remember the last time I laughed that much! Turns out this couple lives about 10 minutes away and we have plans to meet them for dinner this weekend. I never would have thought a simple lifestyle ring could make meeting other swingers this easy! Needless to say, I am ordering a necklace and an anklet for my wife. If you were not sure that this jewelry really works, take it from me, it does. I wasn’t even thinking about it when it happened. Thank you to Partners ID for helping us make new friends! We will let you know how our “date” goes this weekend! Tom and Jessie Gresham, Oregon

While out the other night, my husband and I met up with some friends at a bar. My husband offered his seat to the woman, so she kissed my cheek and sat down next to me. The four of us were engaged in conversation laughing and having fun. At some point, the other man and I were having one conversation while my husband and the other woman were talking on their own. In the middle of our conversation, the man asked if he could kiss me. “Of course,” I said. As we were kissing, the other two glanced over at us and then went back to talking. Did I mention we were in a swing club? It struck me right then and there how this separates us from vanilla couples. Not because we kissed each other, but the honesty of the impulse. Imagine how often vanilla friends are attracted to each other. There is no doubt that every adult at some point goes out to dinner or a party and runs into another person that attracts them. The most they can hope for is for some harmless flirtation; unless they plan to cheat. The difference with swingers is that they are acting honestly in front of their significant other. There is no deceit. And quite frankly, getting it out of your system allows it be over. You don’t need to fantasize about it because you are free to act on it. Honestly, swinging is not for everyone and many people find it to be an unacceptable lifestyle. What we can agree on, is that it is normal to find people other than your significant other attractive. Sometimes the chemistry between two people is intense to the point of distraction. A friend of mine confided in me years ago that she had a crush on another friend’s husband. None of them are in the lifestyle and listening to her made me cringe. Not a weekend went by where she did not try to include this couple in her plans. In my mind, her interest in this other man was unfair to both her husband and her friend. Some people may disagree. She isn’t acting on her feelings and therefore she isn’t hurting anyone, right? Perhaps we should say she is simply lusting after this man. Is that wrong? Without a doubt, when this man does show up, my friend flirts shamelessly with him. This, in my opinion, is disrespectful to both her spouse and her friend. When we learn to separate love and sex it sets us free. Free to explore our deepest sexual desires without strings attached. Able to go out and have a physical encounter with someone and then return to your significant other. To the person you love. The truth is, most people who have affairs are not looking to break up their marriage (or relationship). They are simply looking to be noticed and valued. When we are with a new partner, our brains give off endorphins causing feelings of euphoria. When someone finds us desirable it makes us feel validated and confident. Imagine being able to experience this with your partner instead of behind their back. It strengthens your relationship because you are in it together. Trusting each other to have these experiences with the understanding that is just for the moment. You will go back home together with these intimacies to share. Perhaps this is why research shows that couples in swinging relationships have a lower divorce rate than their monogamous counterparts. (https://houstonrelationshiptherapy.com/to-swing-or-not-to-swing) So, how was the kiss? It was perfect! And what happened after that kiss? Well, let’s just say it was a fun night. Looking for lifestyle jewelry? Look no further. PartnersID.com has the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world. Stop wondering, start playing!

If you are not a swinger, why are you hanging around a swing club? Many years ago, when the baby boomers made up the majority of swingers, swinging was much less complicated. When people showed up at a swing club, you knew they had done their homework just to find the place! Before the internet, finding other swingers, or a place to swing, was much more difficult. If you didn’t find it in a magazine or hear of it by word of mouth, there was really no other way to know about it. Besides being difficult to find, swing clubs were illegal and visiting one was risky. People never knew which night the club might be raided by police and they would all be arrested. Curiosity seekers were not going to chance checking out a swing club. The only customers swing clubs were seeing, were hard core swingers. It created a cohesive group of swingers who were there for one reason, and that was to swing. Swing clubs today attract people who are not swingers What we see in swing clubs today is nothing like the swing clubs of the past. Today, when you are in a swing club, some people are there to swing and some people are not. It seems that at the more popular swing clubs, as many as 40% of the people in the clubs are not swingers at all. Why go to a swing club if you are not a swinger? Swing clubs have become hip places to go. Years ago, strip clubs fell into favor with couples who were looking to shake things up. It was risqué to tell your friends that you had visit a strip club. With all of the exposure that swing clubs have gotten over the past few years, they have taken over as the new racy spot to be seen. It’s not uncommon to see people whip out a camera and start taking pictures under the club signage outside. Many opt for the photo op inside the club. Years ago, if you even took out your phone, you would be asked to put it away. Club goers were not open to the possibility of being photographed in a swing club. What does a non-swinger do in a swing club? For people who are not familiar with a swing club, many of them are as beautiful as any big city night club. Although they require a membership plus an entrance fee, once you are inside, in most clubs, everything else is on the house. You bring your own liquor so you are not paying through the nose for your drinks. Mixers, sodas and juice are available for free. Most clubs offer dinner; some even have breakfast. There is always a dj, and the dance floors usually have state of the art lighting and special effects. They show music videos and porn on big screens around the clubs. As for the playroom, most couples who are not swingers remain up front for the duration of the night. Just like any other club, they dance, drink and socialize. When they are ready to leave, they head out of the club. For the couples who are curious, they tend to sit and watch others play in the back or walk around to see what it’s all about. Not surprisingly, swingers do not appreciate seeing them in the play area. Even for couples who are exhibitionists, non-swingers are not a welcome sight as they generally just take up room in an already crowded space. How can you tell who the swingers are? The first part of the equation is to filter out the swingers from the others. Even seasoned swingers have trouble distinguishing between the two. Most couples who enjoy swing clubs are very social. They like the atmosphere and easily assimilate socially in the main area of the club. What they don’t realize, is that swingers are there to swing, not to entertain curiosity seekers. Once swingers come to the realization that you are not there to swing, most will simply say hello and then avoid you. Let us not confuse newbies with vanilla people. Newbies are welcome at any club as everyone at one time was in their situation. Besides, they are people who want to swing; vanilla people do not. They are strictly looking to be a part of the scene. They like the environment and the energy of a swing club. More often than not, vanilla people will come to a club as a group. They are not looking to meet other couples as they are not swingers. Those who do come alone (as a couple), might try to socialize, but when another couple realizes they do not swing, the swingers will move on. Swingers are not opposed to couples who come to swing clubs and strictly play with each other. Some couples are exhibitionists and enjoy when others watch them. Swing clubs are an acceptable place for couples like this. Swing clubs, however, are not a place for curiosity seekers to visit or frequent. For vanilla couples who enjoy the sexually charged environment of a swing club, a strip club might be a better alternative. These establishments are more suited for their desire to watch others while not engaging. Why private parties have fallen into favor with swingers. Since swing clubs have become more diluted and the percentage of swingers in any swing club has declined dramatically, private parties have become more popular. Swingers now choose to host events where the only requirement of the attendees is to swing. A private invite party is the only way to ensure that the group will consist of only swingers. Someone at a party we attended recently said, “Wouldn’t it be great if someone opened a club for swingers so we wouldn’t have to keep planning private parties?” Sad, but true, swing clubs that are strictly for swingers, no longer exists. Even a private club that requires a membership is not a sacred swinger place any more. Vanilla couples who read this might think swingers are snobs for the way that they feel but let us look at this in another way. If swing clubs did not exist and swingers were forced to meet at regular clubs, how would the vanilla population respond? “Get a room” would probably be a common phrase thrown at couples who display any public affection. Straight people do not have a lot of tolerance for swingers and are the first to admit they do not approve of this lifestyle. Let’s look at this way How about if people who do not gamble hang out in casinos. They sit at the blackjack table or crowd around a craps table and watch. The people gambling would be forced to maneuver around them to do what they came for, which is to gamble. Have you ever gone into Starbucks to have a cup of coffee with a friend but there are no empty seats. There are many people sitting at tables with their computer but many are not even drinking coffee. I imagine most people are frustrated by this and wonder why they are there if not to drink coffee. So again, if you are not a swinger, why are you hanging around at a swing club? This very same principle applies to swingers. If you are not a swinger, why are you hanging around a swing club? The truth is, swingers are in a swing club to meet other swingers, period. It is not that we are snobs or unfriendly or don’t like to meet others. It is actually the exact opposite. Swingers are going to swing clubs to meet other swingers. If we were looking to spend time with or meet vanilla people, there are endless other places we could go, but the one place we would not be, is in a swing club. For anyone looking to find others in the lifestyle, our jewelry is the perfect answer! Recognized around the world, Partners ID has something for everyone! Check it out here: www.PartnersID.com

Dear Partners ID, First we want to thank you for your patience when working with our group. We know it was not easy to please us all but everyone was very professional and kind throughout the process! We are also very happy with the outcome. This necklace is exactly what we had hoped for! We live in a part of the country where people would have little tolerance for swingers. It is a religious area and we were brought up to understand that sex is strictly between a husband and a wife, period. Without the internet, we would never have had access to other swingers, simply because there are no clubs for hundreds of miles. Our need for the jewelry was not to find new swingers (although if that happens we will be thrilled) but to be able to find each other. There are about 25 couples in our little secret group and we try to get together at least once a month; more when possible. What we discovered is that we often cross paths with other members of the group, when we are out during the day. The problem is we don’t always look the same as we do when we are all dazzled up for a night out! I thought I spotted one of the women while out shopping one day but was not sure and so I did not approach her. That was when we started to think about wearing some kind of jewelry that only we would recognize. My husband and I are planning a trip to Texas this summer to visit some family and are hoping the jewelry will help us to find some playmates while traveling! Great concept and beautiful jewelry! Thanks Partners ID! Meghan and Rex Looking for lifestyle jewelry? PartnersID.com is the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world. Don't see what you like? Ask us and we will make something special for you! Find our jewelry here: https://www.partnersid.com/etsy-shop

Rejection is never pretty. Regardless of how we dress it up, rejection is still ugly. It is hurtful and often feels personal. For everyone in the lifestyle, this is something we must face at some point, either as the rejector or the rejectee. Let’s face it, this is normal. Everyone will not like everyone else, but figuring out how to let them know is never easy. Swinging is a lot like dating. At times we have an attraction to someone and that attraction is not returned. We want someone to like us but they do not. When we are talking about dating, it is fairly straightforward. One person must like one person. In swinging, this is much more complicated. Every couple in the lifestyle will agree that couples finding couples is much more difficult. Swingers often take to dating sites like SDC, Kasidie, Quiver, FriendFinder, etc. to find other swingers. They scan their pictures and read profiles in the hopes of finding like minded and attractive couples to meet. The process on swinger dating sites generally involves one couple picking out another and sending them an email expressing interest. The receiver of the email will open the profile of the sender and begin with their photos. If there is any spark of interest, they will read the profile. If the receiver of the email likes what they see, chances are they will respond to your email. What happens if the couple opens the email and has no interest? Many times they will simply delete the email and forget about it. Obviously you will realize they are not interested right? This way of handling an email of no interest is called “ghosting”. Some couples feel this is the easiest way to convey there is no interest. Other couples feel you owe some type of response to the people who sent the email. How do you reject someone without hurting their feelings? Is it possible to turn someone down without hurting their feelings? It seems that whatever you say will cause some pain. Often times couples say they simply reply: “We are not a match.” Surely the couple reading that email will take it personally, especially if their profiles seemed to align. This truly is the kindest possible response. No need to explain why, just a simple reply to let them know. Sometimes couples feel compelled to be honest Honesty is the best policy, right? Here I have to disagree. There is no need to explain that one of you is not attracted to the sender. No need to comment on their age, weight or other physical characteristic. There is never a reason to be cruel or hurtful. If you specified in your profile that you are looking for something specific that does not match the sender, then it is ok to point that out. Even in this case, there are ways to say things without being mean. What if you are not interested in a couple you meet in person? Rejecting couples in an email is not that hard. What happens when you are face to face with a couple and you have no interest? If this is a couple that approaches you in a club, it is easy to walk away. You make an excuse about going to the restroom or to dance. When you do not return, that should be easy for them to understand. If they seek you out upon your return, letting them know that you would like to walk around and talk to other couples will hopefully be enough. If a couple is trying to join you while in a play area, usually simply not responding to their advances is enough to let them know. For the bolder couple who does not seem to pick up on non verbal cues, saying no thank you should send them on their way. The most complicated is when you have agreed to meet in person after exchanging text messages or emails. It is probably a good idea to make your first meeting for a quick cup of coffee. If there is interest, you can always move to sharing a meal. If your date with another couple is over a meal, this can be more complicated. You and your partner should think about this beforehand and come up with a plan. A simple gesture that you agree upon will let each other know how you are feeling. If one of you wants out, the gesture will let your partner know. The plan should include a way to graciously end the date as soon as possible. This can be followed up with an email explaining that although you thought they were very nice, the chemistry was not there. What about the couples who simply won’t take no for an answer? Rejection is always hard because you know you are hurting someone. If the other couple is gracious, this makes it easy. When the other couple simply won’t take no for an answer, it can lead to a much uglier situation. We have found ourselves in situations where a simple no thank you has turned sour. In a case like this it is important to remember that it is not your problem, but theirs. While we chose to take the high road and be kind, there are couples who somehow feel entitled to your time and attention. Whether this occurs online or in person it can be frustrating. Blocking the couple online is a no brainer. In person, it becomes a bit more difficult. Avoiding them seems to be the only way around a future problem. If they hang out in the same club as you, chances are you are not alone in your dealings with them. Eventually these couples are isolated because of their behavior. Bottom line? At some point in time you will have to reject couples and couples will reject you. Do not take it personally, simply move on. Looking to find others in the lifestyle? Look for our lifestyle jewelry! Find it here: www.PartnersID.com