Swinging Is Great, But How Do You Know if Swinging Is Right for You?

Swinging gets talked about as this fun, exciting adventure—and it can be. For many people, it brings energy, spice, and connection. But it’s not for everyone, and that’s something worth saying out loud. The real question is: how do you know if swinging is right for you?

One of the first things to think about is why you want to try it. Some couples approach swinging because they’re curious and want to explore together. Others see it as a way to “fix” a relationship that already feels shaky. The truth is, swinging rarely fixes what’s broken—it tends to magnify it. If you and your partner aren’t good at talking openly now, adding other people to the mix won’t make it easier. On the other hand, if you’re both curious and excited, and you can laugh and communicate your way through awkward or unexpected moments, that’s a much stronger foundation.

Another area to explore is sexual compatibility. Differing sex drives are common in relationships, and swinging sometimes looks like a solution. Maybe one partner has a higher drive, and the other thinks, “If I can’t keep up, maybe they can get what they need elsewhere.” While that can work for some, it can also backfire. If one partner feels pressured or if sex outside the relationship becomes a substitute for intimacy at home, resentment can creep in. The healthiest approach is when both partners feel they’re getting what they need together first, and swinging becomes an adventure you share—not a band-aid for mismatched desire.

And then there’s the emotional side. It’s one thing to say you’re okay with seeing your partner with someone else; it’s another to actually witness it. Jealousy is part of human nature. The question is not whether it will appear, but whether you can handle it and talk about it when it does. Some couples discover they feel surprisingly comfortable, while others find it stirs up insecurities they didn’t realize were there.

Lastly, lifestyle fit matters. Swinging often means being social—going to clubs, events, or meeting new people. If you thrive on that kind of environment, it can feel exciting. If it makes you anxious, you might end up wondering why you’re putting yourself through it at all.

At the end of the day, swinging can be amazing when both partners feel ready, curious, and secure. But it’s not a cure-all, and it’s definitely not for every couple. If you’re thinking about it, the best place to start isn’t at a club or a party—it’s at home, with an honest conversation. Talk about what you both want, what you fear, and what would make it fun. That conversation alone can tell you more than any night out ever will.